Sunday, February 17, 2008

Happy Sabbath!

Today we're going to a golden retriever's 3rd birthday party. This is what happens when fur babies come out of your vagina instead of human babies. Anyway, cheap beer + nascar on the west side, just can't be a bad time. It's impossible.

In more exciting news, we're going to see Sarah Silverman in Las Vegas on the 23rd!!! I'm the biggest loser fan girl there is. I love love love her. So so so excited! We're staying in some comped room waaay off the strip because my gambling addicts of parents {so cliche!} have hook ups there. We're caravanning because my {undiagnosed} austistic brother insists on tagging along. Don't care, not there for family nor gambling, just my little jewish princess.

A trip to the Peppermill Fireside Lounge is definitely in order. This place is a-maz-ing. All the waitresses look like 19 meth mommies, who have flapjack little titties hangin' out of their very very classy low cut in the front, high slit on the side black sequined evening gowns. There's this epical drink there called the Scorpion {depicted below} and you can get it either on the rocks or blended. Our bud M dubbed the blended version Titty Milk. In order to make it the waitresses come by and give you a squirt from the flapjacks, stir and serve. YEAH! I'm so fucking jazzed! If ever in Vegas, you must must go to this 70sneondarkmirroredcokeclubesque bar with a denny's next door, then thank me later.
This is what we look like after a few Titty Milks:
Check out what the website boasts as ameneties:
ROMANTIC FLAMING POOL* EXOTIC DRINK MENU* EXTENSIVE MARTINI MENU *15 WIDE FORMAT PLASMA SCREENS* ALL THE LATEST VIDEOS* STATE-OF-THE-ART SOUND * FRIENDLY STAFF {with flapjack titties} * UNMISTAKABLE ATMOSPHERE {you can say that again!} *COMPANY PARTIES* PRIVATE PARTIES *OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, sweetiedarlings!

3 comments:

  1. this photo makes me look like the one with an undiagnosed handicap

    ReplyDelete
  2. shit i commented on this blog, but under the O.P.P section!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WTF!!!!!!!

    how did that even happen?

    ReplyDelete

The divine PB&J in me, salutes the divine PB&J in you.