Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Mission: Stamp out inner clutterbug

Saturday night, I sat on the parquet floor, cross legged and dejected. I had just come to the realization that I was a clutterbug.

R: What's wrong?
I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway.
me: Am I a clutterbug?
R: Yes, but that's why I'm here, to clean up after you.
me: But, you shouldn't have to! I will try to be better.
R: Mmmhmmm.... (all sassy-like)
me: What?! You don't believe me?!
R: No, I believe you, but you might forget to try.

The next morning I woke up with a mission. I tackled our junk drawer --almost every drawer is a junk drawer-- but this one was particularly bad. I had purchased a drawer organizer a while back and crap had accumulated both underneath it and over it. The little plastic tray was suspended in a sea of shit. Then, I organized our pantry and recycled a million shopping bags. After seeing that mountain of bags, I'm really going to try to get better about using our canvas bags. Ugh. Gross.

"Houston, we have a bag problem."
only 2/3rds pictured

Get off your lazy ass and do these things:
  • De-clutter/polish nightstands
  • Clean out lower kitchen cabinets
  • Throw out my busted Montel Williams blender, RIP  (returned to manufacturer!)
  • Organize kitchen drawers
  • Rearrange dining room bookshelf
  • Create stationery/ephemera station in office
  • Finish organizing letters
  • Clean out closet bins
  • Purge clothes unworn in the past year (2?)
  • Refold clothes on shelves
  • Make a Goodwill donation run
  • Clean out bathroom cabinets/drawers
  • Organize hall "linen" closet currently housing DVDs, CDs, & 7"s
  • Organize guest bedding
  • Sort/throw out dog toys
Okay. I think that's it. That's the road to a cleaner, meaner me. The path to minimalist heaven. I know this makes for mega dry reading, but I figure if I make a public declaration here, then I will be held accountable. I'll be referring to this site and may need to call in the troops (just kidding). Wish me luck!


  1. oh my!
    Good for you Gracie.
    I have an incredible urge to purge now.
    I have too many overstuffed goodwill bags piling up. I need to make a trip to their donation truck but it's next door to a KFC and I know I'll have to make a biscuit run.

  2. Montel Williams blender?!!!? wow!!!!!

    if you can make a list like this, you are half-way there!

    and i have a theory: people are either hoarders or chuckers. i'm a chucker. sometimes this is good; sometimes not.

    well, i hoard some stuff too, so there goes my theory. :(

  3. Yeah - I want to see this Montel blender!!! Please? Add to your list to come declutter my house too... thanks!

  4. the view from my bedroom window is my neighbor's upstairs deck and i just realized it looks EXACTLY like Grey Gardens. you know where they sit outside all the time. super eerie. i will have to take a picture and send it to you.

    btw. have you seen the new show Hoarders? wow.

  5. This is my first time commenting, but I lalalove your blog. You are funny and thoughtful and stylish and you love your parents. You are like a more eloquent version of myself ♥

    I need to de-clutter too! I have 2 weeks off before grad school resumes. Can I make a monument out of this mess? We shall see.

  6. dear melody,
    HAHAHAHA, KFC!!! i made a baby step and put the 1 year old goodwill bags into my trunk. i WILL go this weekend. i will, i will! either that or i WILL be wasting gas, hauling around all this junk. hehe.
    love, gracie

    dear droll,
    yes, montel has failed me. that mother effer. last time i'll buy a product from him again! i had only used it 3times before it shorted out my kitchen and fried itself. grr. oh well, easy come, easy go, right? i hear you about the hoarder/chucker dichotomy. i hoard until i breakdown (like now, and chuck!)
    love, gracie

    dear waxy,
    here it is, in all it's glory. i just saw the "100 year warranty" on the site. haha. maybe i should pursue further. i will add your house to the list if i make it out of mine alive!
    love, gracie

    dear jayne,
    i would love to see your neighbor's GG deck! i have not seen hoarders, only read about it on the unclutterer.com. i think i may have to tivo that shit. but i'm afraid it might give me anxiety! eeks.
    xoxoxo, gracie

    dear lisa ann,
    go on.... just kidding...THANK YOU!!!!! your comment brightened my entire day. how nice of you to shower me with such nice words. what a treat! i think you should do it while you have the time. you can start your new semester with a clear home/clear mind! so nice to comment-meet you!
    love, gracie


The divine PB&J in me, salutes the divine PB&J in you.