steak in bed

Johnny: Gracie! A question you might be uniquely suited to answer with authority as an Arizonan foodie: last night my dad took me out for steak and gave the leftovers. I accidentally left them out of the fridge all night, and now I'm playing hookie from work and those unrefrigerated summer night's leftovers are looking good. What do you think the REAL chances of my getting sick from wolfing 'em might be?
me: hey! um, i always subscribe to "when in doubt, throw it out." eat some ramen, baby!

{...a few minutes elapse...}

Johnny's new status message - Eating steak in bed! 10:52 AM


me: NOOOOOOOOOO!
hahahaha
god speed.
livin' on the wild side!
Johnny: I'm just another manimal livin' on the Island of Doctor Moreau, I guess!
Johnny: Let's do biochemical research into what allows dogs and rats and hyenas to ea
Johnny: ahem...and vultures to eat some rotten-ass meat and not get sick! I'll sprinkle whatever we come up with on my slow-roasted leftovers like Beano!
me: sounds good. i think that can be arranged with the scientists here at my work. off to the vivarium!

art by Mark Ryden