Friday, October 02, 2009

Low Brow, No Brow






I'm a complete dolt and somehow figured it'd be a good idea to groom while still bleary eyed. As wakefulness crept in, I noticed that I had plucked away far too much of my inner left brow. Fuhhh...

After a week of improvising with eyeliner, I traipsed over to the nearest make up counter to pick up a brow pencil. This could be the chance to finally (though, artificially) have the bushy Jennifer Connellys that I had yearned for.

The woman at the Chanel counter was a hot mess. She had these oily black grease arches where brows normally would be found, a la Anpanman. I told her that I needed to pick up a brow pencil, when I should have been running the other way.

"Um, dark brown?" I stabbed. I'd always read that one should choose a color 1 shade lighter than her hair.
"Oh, no. You need black. That's what I use. This one if for people like us."

My eyes were wide and panic stricken. People like us?!? I'm nothing like you, lady! But, resistance was futile. I handed over my card and left with the blackest of black pencils. The little brush at the opposite end & sharpener seem to be consolatory prizes.

Later that evening, I consulted my brow buff of a mother who was born with barely there brows. She has been sketching them in since the Eisenhower Administration. She informed me that people shouldn't only see two brows when I enter a room and gave me a how-to sesh.

Some days, I get carried away and look overly serious or mean. Other days, I get sweaty. Once in a while, they're just right.

4 comments:

  1. About 5 years ago, I was sweet-talked into a makeover at Bergdorf's. Hot Mess Mary, the wee fey makeup artist, pronounced my brows too heavily drawn.

    He scrunched his face into a fearsome scowl and told me that's what I looked like.

    YEE-IKES!

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  2. great post. my only parentl brow advice - my dad once told me to never to shave your eyebrows. apparently he had done this once on a dare and the didn't come back jennifer connely bushy but extra wiry and unruly.

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  3. Oh man, I know all about the wiring and unruly.
    I suffer from inadequate-browage. Mine are feint and scattered.
    I use this:Brow Zings and I swear by it. It's the only thing that looks natural and is easy to use.

    ps- this post caused me to spit on my computer screen. You have a magical way of always causing that.

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  4. A simple advice especially for the untrained: instead of an brow pencil, use eyeshadow (in the right shade) or eyebrow powder which looks just like eyeshadow. Use an angled brush and apply lightly and reapply if necessary. It will give you the most natural brows and it's forgiving if you aren't skilled.

    I just clicked that Brow Zings link above and that's what I'm talking about.

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The divine PB&J in me, salutes the divine PB&J in you.