Thursday, October 15, 2009

Metallic Masticators

Am I making shit up, or do I recall Tami from the Real World: Los Angeles wiring her jaw shut in order to lose weight for her EnVogue/Salt'N'Pepa girl group?  Did this happen? Does anyone else remember this? I can't seem to find any evidence of this on the internets. I was only 11 at the time, but WTF?!

"Why does this matter?" you may be asking yourself...

...Well, I was reflecting on body image, projecting that the 90s were a much friendlier, healthier place for women's bodies. A time where the Crawfords, Campbells, Schiffers, and Turlingtons reigned supreme on the catwalks, for there was not a waif in sight. The golden B.K. era, if you will. (Before Kate [Moss]). There were fewer (or perhaps just less tabloid/media coverage of) grotesquely gaunt gals galavanting around.

Then, good ol' Tami and her metallic masticator popped into my mind. If she had, as I alleged earlier, wired her jaw shut to lose weight, then that would be way fucked, right? Totally unacceptable now-a-day, even though thin is more "in" than ever. Are we just driving our weight obsession underground? Is Tami the Tubman of eating disorders?

If I am mistaken (highly plausible), then my apologies, nothing to see here...carry on.

ps. But seriously, a hick, a black dude, a surfer brah, a diva, a crazy Irish guy, a Latina cop, and a milk fed midwestern gal?? Well, I never!

pps. Remember when the RW was kind of good? Or maybe we just grew up/older than the cast and thought they weren't so "cool" after all. SF & Boston were the last seasons that I watched. Now it's just a bunch of beer pigs and mouth breathers.

ppps. The overwhelming number of Ann Coulter photos that pop up when I Google image search "jaw wired shut" is quite entertaining!

pppps. Okay, I'm finished now. I promise.

ppppps. I lied, but I love you.

6 comments:

  1. Gahd! You fucking amaze me sometimes. We seriously share some kind of weird meta brainwaves sometimes. I love the 2nd season RW. Them and the Boston one were good.
    Do you remember that Tami also had a televised abortion. She was so goddamn cutting edge with her envelope pushing and ankh chokers...anyways, she did wire her jaw.
    My friend had her jaw wired a few years ago. Lost alot of weight but also suffered some weird bone destroying mouth bacteria as a result of. It's weird.

    I totes agree with you abt the beer pigs & mouth breathers. They're all meat heads with shitty hair now.

    I want more latina cops.

    Ps:(Ben applied to the Boston RW back in the 90s... when I think of this I die a little inside. I would pay 2million dollars to see the tape he sent in)

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  2. HA! This post brings back memories. And I totally agree about the B.K. era. Such a sad world we live in. Give it up for the curvy gals!

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  3. she totes did! remember the abortion episode? and she worked at a hivs clinic!

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  4. Yeah, I remember her wiring her jaw shut too.

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  5. How did that cowboy avoid getting the crap beat out of him when wearing that shirt in his hometown?

    Seriously, this question will plague me all day.

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  6. whatthefack re: abortion episode i'm reading about in the comments here? that rings a tiny, dingy little bell, but i can't remember much. maybe that's why i grew up classifying the procedure along with mole and wisdom tooth removals: no big deal!

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The divine PB&J in me, salutes the divine PB&J in you.