Saturday, October 31, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

Paying it Forward

I recently received some good down under karma from the ever so brill, Cerebral Excrement. So here I am, paying it forward! Oh, I also took the liberty of editing the rules, because, um, I know I ain't baking shit & whoever wrote these sounds like a grade A megatard. 


The first three people to leave a comment on this post will be receiving a small gift. Here are the restrictions:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. Whatcha get is whatcha get.
2. What I create will be just for you, with love.
3. It’ll be done this year (2009).
4. I will not give you any clue what it’s going to be. It will be something made in the real world and not something cyber. It may be weird or beautiful. Or it may be monstrous and annoying. Heck, I might bake something for you and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that’s for sure!
5. I reserve the right to do something strange.
6. In return, all you need to do is post this text on your blog and make 3 things for the first 3 to respond to your blog post.
7. Send your mailing address
  after I contact you. (Be sure to leave a working email!) 


I actually liked Cerebral Excrement's guidelines better:
I did not write the conditions. It is supposed to be something I make myself but since that is likely to be crap (not literally - I am not sending human excrement to people) I will also send something I did not make myself.
Also, it may be closer to the end of 2009. 

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Gratitudes: LYLAS

"Friends are like bras; 
close to your heart 
& there for support."

Yes. At this moment, I'm feeling wildly lucky to have such rich friendships. Having the ability to make quality, lasting friendships as an adult is much more difficult, no? Competing priorities, cost/benefit analyses, & what not. Cherish those that stick around, for like ever.

Cheers to the new friends I've made (on & off line)! Deepest, bottomless thanks to the old ones who have steadfastly been along for the (oft bumpy) ride.


Sometimes, I feel as though Kate 
could be a heroine in 
a modern Jane Austen novel.

Which Austen heroine are you? 
I'm the sea monster from S&S&S.
Just kidding, I'm Elinor according to the quiz.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Aurora Over Circle, Alaska // Marni Platforms

Two auras in a row! Me, oh, my.
(S. Bubz feet, don't hate)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Saturday, October 24, 2009

hello, good morning.
i'm a big fucking baby 
and i'm coming home.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Possible Side Effects

Take 2 and call me in the morning, that is, if you haven't sleepcrashed your car into the median of the I-10. I LOVE, absolutely LOVE it when pharma commercials list side effects that are exponentially worse than the initial problem at hand. Here's an excerpt from the Ambien website (and inspired by some of your comments):

AMBIEN and AMBIEN CR are treatment options you and your doctor can consider along with lifestyle changes. When taking either of them:
  • Don’t drive or operate machinery. 
  • Plan to devote 7 to 8 hours to sleep before being active. 
  • Sleepwalking, and eating or driving while not fully awake, with memory loss for the event, as well as abnormal behaviors such as being more outgoing or aggressive than normal, confusion, agitation, and hallucinations may occur. 
  • Don’t take it with alcohol as it may increase these behaviors. 
  • In patients with depression, worsening of depression, including risk of suicide may occur. If you experience any of these behaviors contact your doctor immediately. 
  • Allergic reactions such as shortness of breath, swelling of your tongue or throat, may occur and in rare cases may be fatal. If you have an allergic reaction while using AMBIEN or AMBIEN CR, contact your doctor immediately. 
  • Side effects of AMBIEN CR may include next-day drowsiness, dizziness and headache. 
  • There is a low occurrence of side effects associated with the short-term use of AMBIEN. The most commonly observed side effects in controlled clinical trials were drowsiness, dizziness, and diarrhea. 
I don't know about you, but insomnia sounds pretty good to me right about now. No, wait. It doesn't. I s'ppose half a pill won't hurt...

From the always poignant Toothpaste for Dinner:

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Now Playing: Stuffed Edition

Goddamn, thus far DC has been a culinary tour de force. The photo above totally sums up how I'm feeling right now.

Random Thai Restaurant. I ordered a pity app, so my dining partner wouldn't feel awkward while I watched her eat her soup. See? Who said that I'm not a good friend?? Took advantage of the Phi Phi Seafood Island (almost as good of a name as "Moons Over My Hammy"), though I couldn't stop thinking about the Phi Creeps. Also, ever notice how all Thai pretty much tastes the same?

Marvin totally reminded me of DuMont & Freeman's love child. Had the Pan Seared Alaskan Halibut, Onion puree, cauliflower risolee, sauteed spinach, bacon, beurre blanc + 2 bottles French Bordeaux

Then, drinks at The Gibson, a "speakeasy" next door. First order of hilarity, the adorable 70 year old world renowned vaccinologist we were with, kept trying to muscle his way in the door, past the Wes Anderson wanna be doorman. Wasn't til after I grabbed him by the corduroy blazered arm and called him The Fantastic Mr. Fox, did we get seated inside. 

Cute scientist man starts saying, "Oh, stupid me! I know what he wanted, he wanted me to peel him off one," and made that money rubbing fingers. I tried to reassure him it was just the place's schtick. "Smug hipsters that's all," he remained unconvinced. Besides the pretentiousness, the cocktails (sidecar, julep) were quite delish.

Room service. Ordered eggs, toast, and fruit in an attempt to heal myself from the night before. Mystery grilled cheese showed up instead of toast. Ate it in bed while transfixed with the A&E Biography of Shannen Doherty. Crumbs everywhere, was reminded how much I love this crazy bitch.

A few hours later, headed to the Westend Bistro for the Roasted Chicken with country bread stuffing. First, it was utterly mind blowing, then completely heart breaking, when I couldn't finish the last piece and my hotel room was sans microwave. It was like giving up a child for adoption. I should have just smuggled it out & kept it warm in my vadge.

"Stayed in" & ate meatloaf ♥ at the hotel pub. Greasy & comforting, can't really go wrong. I think I need to create a meatloaf label. Stuffed beyond belief while I'm typing this.

Going to fast all day, then head to Marcel's for their famous lobster bisque with brioche crouton. I'm dyyying.

The thought of having a scale be brought up to my room crossed my mind more than once. I'd go to the fitness center, if I could move. It's a shame, because I'd been doing so well, up until now. DC is definitely a food town.

Check out this great Tracy Morgan roundup
Photo via Nerdboyfriend
Others via Google

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Greetings from the nation's capitol. Thanks to all you kind souls who sent me tips about the city. Hoping to all hopes to squeeze in some of your sights & suggestions before I leave on Saturday.

So far, it's been a navy/black suit sausage party. Going to take a napski, (couldn't, dead tired, but over caffeinated) meet some colleagues for dinner, and then find something fun to do? Who am I kidding, I'll most likely just wind up popping an ambien and surfing the web in my room.

BTW, internetting while sleep drugs kick in is the most hilarious thing ever. Last night, I clicked through the same set of Tumblr dashboard images like 20 times before I realized what I was doing. Tardtastic.


p.s. What happens when you don't answer a wake up call? Do they come upstairs, rip the blankets off of you, and call you a "dead pig" in Chinese? That's what my mom used to do when I was a wee one.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Wild Things

Saw Wild Things tonight! ZOMG!!! It was soooooooooooooooooooo amazing. The soundtrack was off the hook.* Best. Movie. Ever.

Also saw The September Issue. Peed a little and choked on a popcorn kernel when R made the observation that Grace Coddington (bless her) bears a strong resemblance to Rocky Dennis.

*do people still say that anymore?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Feed Feedback

Dear Readereaders,

As you may have noticed, I've truncated my RSS feed. I feel I must apologize for this hypocritical action. Often times, I just read from my reader and get frustrated when I come across a blog with a short feed. I changed my settings in hopes that you'd click through and visit more often. I guess I was lonely out here in blogland.

Sorry to be so needy, but you make this fun. I hope you'll stick with and not just unsubscribe. If you hate not being able to read along from the comforts of your feed/reader, then please let me know and I may switch it back. Hope you have a pleasure filled weekend and as always, thanks for all the love and kindness.

Yours ever,

I changed it back. Thanks for your thoughts ♥

All that glitters...

Lanvin PFW 2010 collage
by yours truly

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Metallic Masticators

Am I making shit up, or do I recall Tami from the Real World: Los Angeles wiring her jaw shut in order to lose weight for her EnVogue/Salt'N'Pepa girl group?  Did this happen? Does anyone else remember this? I can't seem to find any evidence of this on the internets. I was only 11 at the time, but WTF?!

"Why does this matter?" you may be asking yourself...

...Well, I was reflecting on body image, projecting that the 90s were a much friendlier, healthier place for women's bodies. A time where the Crawfords, Campbells, Schiffers, and Turlingtons reigned supreme on the catwalks, for there was not a waif in sight. The golden B.K. era, if you will. (Before Kate [Moss]). There were fewer (or perhaps just less tabloid/media coverage of) grotesquely gaunt gals galavanting around.

Then, good ol' Tami and her metallic masticator popped into my mind. If she had, as I alleged earlier, wired her jaw shut to lose weight, then that would be way fucked, right? Totally unacceptable now-a-day, even though thin is more "in" than ever. Are we just driving our weight obsession underground? Is Tami the Tubman of eating disorders?

If I am mistaken (highly plausible), then my apologies, nothing to see here...carry on.

ps. But seriously, a hick, a black dude, a surfer brah, a diva, a crazy Irish guy, a Latina cop, and a milk fed midwestern gal?? Well, I never!

pps. Remember when the RW was kind of good? Or maybe we just grew up/older than the cast and thought they weren't so "cool" after all. SF & Boston were the last seasons that I watched. Now it's just a bunch of beer pigs and mouth breathers.

ppps. The overwhelming number of Ann Coulter photos that pop up when I Google image search "jaw wired shut" is quite entertaining!

pppps. Okay, I'm finished now. I promise.

ppppps. I lied, but I love you.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Sweet Charity

My dear friend Lala is donating all profits from her print entitled "Flood" to the Philippine Red Cross. Please visit her at Society6, if you can spare some change for a good cause. Thank you!

Pet pet names

In my experience, I've found that bisyllabic pet names roll off the tongue the best. Monosyllabic names are cute (also look better on tags), but when calling aloud, one would have to do a sing-songy extension midway through or add an "-ie" sound at the end. With that said, pet pet names, however, should be as redonk as humanly possible.

Here are a few of Bel·la's:

  • Professor Lazybones
  • Renee Tailwagger
  • Sir Lix-a-Lot
  • Littlest one
  • Bellavator
  • Bellanator
  • Umbrella
  • Cowbell
  • Doggin
  • Furball
  • Kitten
  • Belly
  • Bells

What are your pets' pet names?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Things I did not know that Rick Owens had:

1. Personalized M&Ms

2. A WIFE!

Michele Lamy
slash business partner slash muse slash restaurateur
slash gold & diamond encrusted teef owner

Also, how awesome is it that she's a mature rockin' woman (I replaced "granny" because I thought that was a little harsh & counterproductive) and not some starving Eastern Bloc teenage giraffe?!?**

Love always,
The President of the Last To Know Club

ps. Look how fucking cute and PERFECT they are together! I can't stand it!
**(and I say that out of complete bitterness and jealousy, btw)

Monday, October 12, 2009


As she laughed I was aware of becoming involved
in her laughter and being part of it, until her
teeth were only accidental stars with a talent
for squad-drill. I was drawn in by short gasps,
inhaled at each momentary recovery, lost finally
in the dark caverns of her throat, bruised by
the ripple of unseen muscles. An elderly waiter
with trembling hands was hurriedly spreading
a pink and white checked cloth over the rusty
green iron table, saying: "If the lady and
gentleman wish to take their tea in the garden,
if the lady and gentleman wish to take their
tea in the garden ..." I decided that if the
shaking of her breasts could be stopped, some of
the fragments of the afternoon might be collected,
and I concentrated my attention with careful
subtlety to this end.

-T.S. Eliot

Friday, October 09, 2009


Hey! I have an idea! Let's play a game! I'll start a list, then you add your comment, and I'll add it (plus a link back to your blog) to the main list. Sound good? OK GO!


  1. Water belly during coitus
  2. Butchering someone's name
  3. Falling in front of people
  4. Hole in back of bathing suit
  5. Shoes stinking so bad/having to step out of a meeting & lysol them
  6. Black bean skin wrapped over a tooth
  7. Not remembering you had previously been introduced to someone (twice)
  8. Condoms falling out of bag 
  9. Accidentally farting from laughing really hard
  10. Doing the Scarlett O'Hara slow stairway entrance to a party and falling ass over ears down the stairs. In a skirt.
  11. Walking out of the bathroom with part of skirt hem tucked into tights
  12. Huge wave whipping bikini top right off
  13. Tampax falling out of purse
  14. Right boob falling out of dress at a bar mitvah in front of the rabbi
EDIT 10.14.09:
I think P's (#14) takes the cake. Upon reading this list, I've surmised: It's tough being a girl. Thank you for playing along. Keep them coming if you'd like. I have the best readers ever.

Is this not the saddest pumpkin you ever did see?

Wednesday, October 07, 2009


I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I have ten shirts on.


This poster stirred up some strange emotions inside of me. The first ilk:
  •  Fuck yeah! Life is my goddamn oyster. It's totally ok for me to have everything I want. I want a successful career, a great marriage, fancy shoes, ridiculous handbags, a Danish console to hang many frames above, if I'm so inclined, and on and on. I earned it, I deserrrrve it.
Contrasted with the second wave of feelers:
  • It's totally NOT ok for me to have everything I want. I should only have what I really NEED (and maybe a couple frills to keep things interesting). Why should I have everything while the less fortunate have nothing? I should not engage in rampant consumerism just because I can.

Moral of the story: No more letterpress posters for this gal.

via Ignant

Monday, October 05, 2009

A lil' somethin' ... cure you from the weekend & get you through your Monday...

Sunday, October 04, 2009

You shoulda put a ring on it

Me thinks this Numero Korea editorial, featuring Stammy, is less Shrimpton & more Beyonce.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Last Chance Dance

Can't make it to Budget Rock
Come see Garage Shock's last hurrah as the Mummies'!

Tonight @ Hollywood Alley
2610 W. Baseline Rd.
Mesa, AZ 85202
9PM | No Cover

Friday, October 02, 2009

Low Brow, No Brow

I'm a complete dolt and somehow figured it'd be a good idea to groom while still bleary eyed. As wakefulness crept in, I noticed that I had plucked away far too much of my inner left brow. Fuhhh...

After a week of improvising with eyeliner, I traipsed over to the nearest make up counter to pick up a brow pencil. This could be the chance to finally (though, artificially) have the bushy Jennifer Connellys that I had yearned for.

The woman at the Chanel counter was a hot mess. She had these oily black grease arches where brows normally would be found, a la Anpanman. I told her that I needed to pick up a brow pencil, when I should have been running the other way.

"Um, dark brown?" I stabbed. I'd always read that one should choose a color 1 shade lighter than her hair.
"Oh, no. You need black. That's what I use. This one if for people like us."

My eyes were wide and panic stricken. People like us?!? I'm nothing like you, lady! But, resistance was futile. I handed over my card and left with the blackest of black pencils. The little brush at the opposite end & sharpener seem to be consolatory prizes.

Later that evening, I consulted my brow buff of a mother who was born with barely there brows. She has been sketching them in since the Eisenhower Administration. She informed me that people shouldn't only see two brows when I enter a room and gave me a how-to sesh.

Some days, I get carried away and look overly serious or mean. Other days, I get sweaty. Once in a while, they're just right.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Gratitudes: October Edition

Things that I'm grateful for on this first day of October:

♥Stumbling upon a bacon, egg, toast breakfast at my parents house this morning at dog drop off
♥A venti americano purchased with a generous sbux gift card from a client
♥Two dozen long stemmed roses delivered to my work for no reason (aka the BEST reason - listen up guys: "just because" will totally get you laid.)
♥Carving out time to go to yoga practice today come hell or high water
♥The fact that tomorrow is Friday & the temp read 71 F this morning
♥The absolutely adorable little old man in my office who asks me for "tech support" and rewards me with chocolate. It feels great being able to save the day.
♥A beautiful dream I had last night where mini snowballs were falling from the sky
♥My fab horoscope for October. Most likely all BS, but already feeling better that Mercury's no longer in retrograde (whatever that means...)
♥You. Thank you for reading along and making such incredible comments. Especially the ones for the NPR post. How could I have forgotten about Lakshmi, Nina Totes, Mara, & the Glaze? I love you.

What's on your list for today?


Ugh. Just look at that devastatingly cute Nagi Noda (gone but not forgotten) hanpanda trophy in this dream home featured on Desire to Inspire. Inspired I am!