Thursday, December 31, 2009


 I like cavities because 
 they're a gentle reminder 
 that I'm rotting 
 from the inside out. 


cheers to
clumsy optimism

bidding good riddance
to all the not-so-good

a fresh new decade,
unmarred and shiny

this one will be better
than the formers

is what we tell ourselves
in order to keep our gears wound

we move ever onward
in search of better days ahead

i'll be right behind you,


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Shoulda put THIS ring on it

I'm not much of a jewelry gal, but Victoire de Castellane's pieces never fail to knock me on my ass. This would make one hell of an engagement ring, wouldn't it?

Jackpot Dreaming

  1. Purchase a truckload of these amazing leather prize ribbons to hand out all willynilly. Pin 'em on people for having "Best Dimples," "Most Retarded Public Conversation," & what have you. (via PourPorter)
  2. Open a stationery shoppe in Manhattan and force Bella to be a shoppe dog.
  3. Travel a shit ton.
  4. Pay off bills/houses for loved ones.
  5. Donate to charity/science.
What sorts of things would you do?

I just asked R, and he replied, "I don't think about those kinds of things because they're highly improbable." Hee!

Whale of a Tale

1: Would you like to try whale* again?
2: Ummm, no, that's okay, not this time...
1: Oh, Greenpeace? Don't worry, there are many.

*tastes like jerky

Monday, December 28, 2009


Now that my recipient has received, I may unveil quite possibly my proudest crafting moment. Eat your heart out, Martha (& thanks for the amazing glue gun w/BLACK hot glue sticks)!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

something went wonky & my fucking sidebar disappeared! hang tight, working on rebuilding...


An eighth grade science teacher once told us how to tell the difference between organisms with exoskeletons and those with endoskeletons.

"If you step on an exoskeleton, you'll feel CRUNCH, SQUISH."
"If you step on an endoskeleton, you'll feel SQUISH, CRUNCH."

I loved this so much. Perhaps because it was a touch morbid.

photos via 00888

Friday, December 25, 2009


A harrowing decision. Which will you choose?

Father, Christmas

Circa Late '70s

This is one of my all time favorite photos of my father. Notice how the mustache portion is straddling his nose rather than resting coolly underneath it. It kills. me. every time.  I brought it to dinner tonight and he was in denial. He refused to accept it was on top of his nose. It just "looked that way" because he has an elongated obicularis oris. Suuure, okay, dad.

We watched Gran Torino after dinner. Dad kept interjecting about his mustard yellow '74 Gran Torino and how my mother absolutely HATED it. She confirmed this as she was passing by, "Oh, that old piece of garbage?" exiting stage right, shaking her head.

Half way through the movie, he gives away the ending. All this might sound a little grating, but it couldn't be more endearing to me. He started telling us about his Skylark, too. One day, before it's too late, I need to interview him and write all these gems down.

(My mom would always cut the corners of photos, which I hated when I was younger, but now have learned to love. Photobucket has a feature that allows you to give your photos rounded corners.)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Blah-humbug: An Atheist's Guide to Christmas

Here's all the embellishment I can muster. I just can't seem to get it up for the holidays anymore. Charlie Manson kinda looks like Jesus, no?

Our Christmas tradition consists of switching on the fireplace, spiking the eggnog, and popping in the TV Funhouse Christmas Day episode.

Merry, merry to you & yours, though. Don't let my big rubbery one spoil all your fun!


(Confession: My "x-mas tree" is up all year 'round. Lights, JA ornaments, and all.)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

For the Archives: Good

As I tried to help, the case slipped from my hands and shattered on to the ground. In an uncharacteristically dramatic manner, I folded my arms and declared, "I'm not good at anything!"

"That's not true," he generously offered, "you're good at breaking things."

Monday, December 21, 2009

Duh to the nth degree


You promise not to fucking laugh at me?


Pinky swear?


So, I saw this Bing Crosby post on Nerd Boyfriend today. My first thought was, "What??? Bing Crosby is white???"

Ugh. I guess I'd never seen a photo, Christmas special, or just never really paid any attention before. Could it be that my brain made an erroneous word association with 'Bill Cosby'? I mean, it's possible, right? The mind plays all sorts of crazy tricks.

P.S. This cockamamie photo popped up when I Google Image searched old Bing. I think it's quite apropos.

P.P.S. If you haven't already, you can laugh now. I had a good laugh at myself, too.

P.P.P.S. Did I ever tell you that I briefly met Nerd Boyfriend at my best friend's wedding over the summer? Her boyfriend, Lonely Sandwich, was one of the groomsmen. I didn't realize I'd be meeting such blogging juggernauts. EEP!

Space Dog

"Laika, was a Soviet space dog (c. 1954 – November 3, 1957) who became the first animal to orbit the Earth and the first orbital death. Little was known about the impact of spaceflight on living things at the time Laika's mission was launched. Some scientists believed humans would be unable to survive the launch or the conditions of outer space, so engineers viewed flights by non-human animals as a necessary precursor to human missions. Laika, underwent training with two other dogs, and was eventually chosen as the occupant of the Soviet spacecraft Sputnik 2 that was launched into outer space on November 3, 1957. Sputnik 2 was not designed to be retrievable, and Laika had always been intended to die." -Wiki
This post on now voyager reminded me of Laika's story, only far less tragic.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Flash a-ah!

Oh, what I wouldn't give to be lounging in a room with
a wall (or four) covered in Eley Kishimoto's Flash wallpaper,
with old Freddie spinning in the background.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Barred Spiral Galaxy M95 // Ali Michael at Luella

I've three work holiday celebrations to attend today.

Hope you have nice Fridays & weekends ♥

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Equity Theory

One thing is for certain.

Hot Sauce + Diet Pepsi = :(


OMG, my fridge is bumming me out, big time.
Why can't it look like this instead?


My friend was over and said,
"Wow, your fridge is so..."

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

12.16.09: Gratitudes

♥ Everyone who has entertained my silly de-lurking request thus far. I've replied with little notes & have subscribed to all of your respective blobs. (Check back, if you haven't signed up for comment replies [if you want] )
♥ R offering to send out my packages through his work. I've been hearing horror stories of the post office at this time of year. Otherwise strong & rational people being reduced to a puddle of tears. No thank you!
♥ Seeing my two best friends in one day yesterday! Makes me feel dizzy with joy.
♥ Not receiving a pigeon in the mail, even though that collagey thing above is super adorable.
♥ Having weeknights free to dick off.
♥ Finally getting over that debilitating cold.
♥ Having a niiiiice boss & colleagues.
♥ Having had a not-so-niiiiice (read: pure evil) boss that gave me a point of reference and some valuable perspective.
♥ My mom's spaghetti sauce.
♥ Hearing about "Old Poo Hands" who lives in front of Fancy Nails on Hillhurst.
♥ LPs coming with mp3 downloads. Coolest thing since sliced bread! Definitely the best of both worlds. Skipping over that cumbersome CD stage.
♥ Shadow box date with Megan on Friday night. I suspect there will be teeth and hair involved.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Eat, drink, & be wary

It just dawned on me that I extremely dislike Christmas and all the bullshit/stress that goes along with it. There have been warning signs along the way, like that time in first grade, when I told my friend Courtney that Santa wasn't real. She bawled and I got in trouble.

R & I keep flirting with the idea of blowing off strained, awkward family gatherings, and taking a spa weekend at the Parker, Palm Springs instead. It's looking better and better by the minute.

Qui êtes vous?


Forgive me if this is uncouth, but I can't stop wondering about who you are and where you come from and what's going on inside your head. Would you consider humoring me for a moment and leaving a comment & a link to your site (especially if you've never left one before)? Pretty please? I'm dying to know more about you. 

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours ever,

Monday, December 14, 2009

Small things:

A few small things that are bringing me joy at the moment:
  1. Trump Steaks. So perfectly absurd.
  2. the word "timepiece" for watch *eyeroll*
  3. utilizing a belt to hold up pants rather than accessorizing
What's making you smile this morn?

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Just kind of love this. That's all.
via Ink

Friday, December 11, 2009

Eerily prophetic

A few months ago, I set this Blake Wright illustration as my desktop. A few nights ago, I gave myself an overly aggressive callus removal and the bottoms of my feet were rendered bloody and red all over. Some heavy foreshadowing, no? I think I'll stick to the PediEgg® from now on. Or better yet, leave it to the professionals.

Speaking of professionals, it's apparent that the division of labor amongst nail techs overwhelmingly favors the Vietnamese. Like clockwork, they ask my ethnicity in that sing-songy deaf-sounding accent. No, I'm not Vietnamese, I reply.

They appear to trade glances, breathe sighs of relief, and chatter on. Perhaps they were worried that I would be able to eavesdrop on their conversation. Or maybe they were looking for a brethrenly connection. Either way, sitting in the chair, I can't help but to feel a little like a cannibal.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

JPN Report Part 2: 相撲!

We got really into Sumo while we were in Japan. Everyday we'd return to our hotel after an afternoon filled with exploring to recharge before we ventured out again for the evening's festivities.

After channel surfing the small flat screen, we realized that Sumo was the only thing we could understand. It's more fun if you root for someone. Soon we had favorites.

Hakuho was my favorite. I really liked his smooth buttery face. He was one of the smaller guys weighing in at a demure 153 kilograms (337 pounds).

Yamamotoyama was one big (but not so bad) motherfucker. He had no wins to his name, but a serious smattering of acne and skintags on his 258 kilogram (569 pound) frame.

We hope to go to a match next time we're there!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Moonlighting: Pour Porter

Join Pour Porter and me as we hunt for comfort & style!

Sunday, December 06, 2009


FUCK YEAH! We just finished our first year of grad school! One down, one more to go. Huzzah!

Celebrated by seeing Fantastic Mr. Fox where we were surrounded by snot-nosed (though, I can't complain because I was also snot-nosed today) little kids. Here's my impression of R at the ticket counter, "Two for that fox movie."  *swoon*

Saturday, December 05, 2009


Holy hell, it bums me out to think about what the state of our economy might look like if we didn't squander ~$939,363,679,192 on two useless wars.

The numbers are staggering:

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Desultory Delights: No. 4

♥ Why can't my living room look like this?
♥ The inside of my head looks like this girl's head right now.
♥ I like reusable things that look disposable.
♥ If I were forced to use just one font for the rest of my life...
♥ I agree with Niedzviecki on Twitter, "...we want the feeling of connection without the weight of being expected to do something.”
♥ Just can't seem to get Jayne in this Ann Sofie Back jacket out of my head!
♥ Still totally obsessed with the Margiela tabis, but these silver ones put me over the edge.
♥ Don't really understand what's going on in this picture, but I want it.
♥ Remember Orbitz? The Laura Gomez photo above reminds me of my favorite childhood drink.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Trash Day

This one time, R and I drove past our neighbors driveway on trash day and noticed a black Liberator wedge sticking out of the green bin. We had a good laugh and speculated about all the possible fight/break up scenarios.

Several months later, when we finally saw Burn After Reading, it was like watching the prologue of our make believe fight right there on the flickering screen. Clooney stomps out of his secret lover's house after a row, but not before huffily grabbing his sex wedge before hightailing. So hilarious.

Hands down (or bottoms up) one of my all time favorite scenes.

There may or may not be a hefty bag filled with retired naughty bits in our bin right now. No peeking!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009



After work, I went to the c-c-c-craft store (some of you know & share my aversion to twee craft culture) to gather some materials for marinating my tardy pay it forward packages.

Note to self: DO NOT go to the craft store on two hours of sleep. Yowza. It's much akin to entering a corn maze, blindfolded, being led around by a one eyed thirteen year old diabetic Chihuahua named JJ (may he rest in peace).

I spent close to an hour picking things up and traversing the store to put them back. Finally, I noticed that I was in a cold sweat thinking, "Duuude, I gotta get outta this place!"

I ended up purchasing some overpriced Martha Stewart glitter (amongst other surprises) that I later inhaled when made this scary mask/depiction of what I must've looked like at the craft store. After this post, I'm going to go take apart the broken down Camero in my driveway. Bye!

Here's to a respectable amount of zzz's tonight! Cheers! 

*makers & ambien*

New Millennium Meatplates

"Binding the feet involved breaking the arch of the foot, which ultimately left a crevice approximately two inches deep, which was considered most desirable. It took approximately two years for this process to achieve the desired effect; preferably a foot that measured three or three and one-half inches from toe to heel."

My grandmother's feet were bound when she was very young. After her parents died, she moved from the countryside to the city to live with her aunt. Her new matriarch, with her progressive urban sensibilities, unraveled and freed her feet before a 'welcome' could be muttered or suitcase emptied.

Luckily, her meatplates (love this term. can't/won't stop saying- sorry!) never blossomed into deformed golden lotuses. However, if you looked at them closely, you could see that her toes overlapped each other and were a little pointed, much like a ballerina's.

The grisly practice of foot binding makes me wonder if modern corporal augmentations for the sake of vanity and eroticism will one day end up on the barbaric practices list.

BTW, what's with all the feet posts as of late? Don't worry, I'm NOT developing a new fetish.

Kickie Party!

How great are these?!?
So medieval. If you were being mugged, you could impale your unsuspecting assailant with one of these puppies. Or better yet, kick 'em in the nether regions.

via lefashion