Sunday, August 15, 2010

Spotty Logic

I wore a cheap leopard print dress while brushing my teeth the other night and it nearly sent me into an existential tailspin.

I caught a glimpse of the hypnotic expansion and collapse of my animal print swathed ribcage in the mirror. For a moment, I believed was inches away from a dangerous feline.

The toothbrush hummed while I stared at the breathing animal, dumbfounded. Everything appeared to be in happening in slow motion and I began to feel light headed.

The toothbrush beeped to a halt and I was snapped out of my safari trance. It was just me. Duh. I rubbed my sides, spit, and rinse.


  1. that happens when youre brushing with vodka instead of colgate.

  2. Dude,
    I have a very ladylike belted dress in python print. Should I wear it, finally?

  3. bwahahahaha, liz. was so sober, i promise.

  4. accessorise with these:


The divine PB&J in me, salutes the divine PB&J in you.