Murderer

I'm posting dancing bear again for several reasons:

1. I tend to flail my arms like that when I'm flustered
2. It makes me happy
3. I need to be happy right now
4. I spent the past two hours wearing a leopard bubble trench in a hysterical wailing fit BECAUSE I RAN OVER AND KILLED A  FUCKING DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. And I thought my drive home yesterday was eventful. I'm just so unbelievably sad right now. Left work late, the sky was dusty blue-black by the time I was a couple blocks from home. To say my neighborhood is unsavory may be an understatement. It's the highest crime area in Phoenix. There are shootings on the regs and no sidewalks. 

Driving down the dark street, all of a sudden a small white stray appeared right in front of me and froze in my headlights. There were oncoming vehicles to the left and cars behind me. It all happened so fast, I couldn't swerve nor slam on my brakes. All I could do was honk my horn and plow right over the little buddy. PLUNK, SQUISH, CRUNCH.

I wanted to pass out right in front of the wheel. I flailed my arms. Then, my hands were glued over my mouth. I called my husband thousands of miles away. I drove to my mom's house. I laid in her lap. I cried uncontrollably. I took off my work clothes. I hyperventilated a fish taco and two handfuls of potato chips. I cried some more. I put on the new HSN leopard trench she ordered for me. I wailed some more. I couldn't look at my dog. I buried my face in my dad's shoulder. I dried out. I drove home. I cried in my bed. I got it together a little. I dug into my stash of anti-anxiety medication that I keep for recreational purposes. I lost it again when I had to take the trash out and noticed the grill of my car looked pushed in underneath. I howled in the driveway. I cracked open a beer. I am medicated. I wrote this post.

THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER. 

Thanks for listening.