Monday, August 30, 2010

Holy scheisseballs! Our wedding reception is featured on ESB today!

ps. Thanks for all who have voted & helped us spread the word so far. We love you!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

A plea

Dear Lovers,

Promise you'll forgive me for some shameless self-promotion? Would you purdy please vote for my nest here?

Forever indebted,

p.s. Check out my bud Melody's place while you're in the neighborhood. 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Guest Post: R

My better, more mysterious, half has made an anagram for y'all. Enjoy!


Monday, August 23, 2010

Star Cluster R136 Bursts Out // Celine

"My shadow is only half of what it should be."

"Everyone has their shortcomings." 

Cold Plasma Winner

The winner of the Perricone MD Cold Plasma giveaway is...


She totally performed inception on me with her comment about dipping Depp.

After I read her comment, I had this awesome dream where I grinding with an older, present day Depp, but dressed as Cry Baby baby Depp, on the dance floor of a club. Mmmm.

Please email me your shipping address. Thank you all for playing along. I hope I get the opportunity to give you more cool stuff in the future! And thanks, Perricone MD!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Happy birthday. Thank you for being a friend.

ps. Did you know you share a birthday with Ray Bradbury & Dorothy Parker?

Lounge Against the Machine

A Sunday Manifesto:

Thou shalt sleep until thou's back hurts
No breast shalt be bound
Thou shalt read for pleasure
No follicle shalt be doused*
Thou shalt revel in lethargy
No escentual shalt be applied

*whore baths excluded

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Personal & the Pizzas is my new favorite band. I mean, check. out. this. box. set. If I'm still alive, and they're still around, I've asked R to book them for my 30th birthday party. It will be a pizza* party, obvs. I hope you will all come. 

What I would wear to a Personal & the Pizzas show:
Circa 1988
Papa Ginos - Marlborough, MA

*Note to self: Look in to the price of having Papa Gino's imported.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Stay Foxy with Cold Plasma

Want jar of some fancy pants Perricone MD Cold Plasma creme?

Alls ya have to do is leave a comment revealing why you want/need Cold Plasma. As a secondary request, I'd personally like to know who you would like to strip nude and dip in a vat of Cold Plasma.

A winner* will be selected on Monday the 23rd. 

Other schtuff :
99 Bite Bars, (but a bitch ain't one)

*US & Canada only - sowwy

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Spotty Logic

I wore a cheap leopard print dress while brushing my teeth the other night and it nearly sent me into an existential tailspin.

I caught a glimpse of the hypnotic expansion and collapse of my animal print swathed ribcage in the mirror. For a moment, I believed was inches away from a dangerous feline.

The toothbrush hummed while I stared at the breathing animal, dumbfounded. Everything appeared to be in happening in slow motion and I began to feel light headed.

The toothbrush beeped to a halt and I was snapped out of my safari trance. It was just me. Duh. I rubbed my sides, spit, and rinse.

For the Archives: Laundry Day

Him: Can you please put the sheets in the dryer once they're finished?
Me:  Nods
Him: It's the unit next to the wet one.

Friday, August 13, 2010

It's a Party!

R says to me each week,
"Spoiler alert! The gay one gets kicked off."
And every week, I pee a little.
Mondo. Mondo. Mondo. The short shorts. The knee socks.
Tears will be shed the day he gets auf'ed.
Can you believe the little fucker is 32?!?
Tim Gunn is drunk the entire episode.
That or huffing glue in the green room. "I prefer woolly balls." 
Bright pink face to match his shirt. Feeling tingly.
Andy or Onch?!?
The dress is fucking hot.
The balloon glove does it.
Peach is like the culmination of every cranky
middle aged white woman I've ever met.
I do like how her name is Peach though. The irony!
Don't get me started.
Smug Portland hipster. Meh.
Kors never fails to deliver the nasally biatchiness.
"She looks like a transvestite flamenco dancer at a funeral."
Oh snap.
Betsey Johnson is lucky she's a millionaire,
otherwise she'd just be another old crackwhore.
"Too beautiful" my ass.
Is this the first season that Heidi "The Most Fertile Woman in the Universe" Klum has not been pregnant in?!

Thursday, August 12, 2010


This one time, we found my mom cleaning the pool in the eye of a monsoon. Tall metal pole, bobbing, her dress, a swirl. Perhaps she had a death wish. Or maybe she just craved some excitement in her life.

Either way, there's nothing quite like the smell right before a monsoon. The air is electric.

photo via onebadapple

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

This is Yori with an armadillo on his arm.
This is a stray cat with a bandage on it's head.
That is all.

photos by r

Friday, August 06, 2010

Go Go Black and Gold!

Jacques // 2005
31 x 24 inches // Oil on birch panel

I don't like nor follow sports. But I like (and dislike) certain teams, on principle alone.

I like and will always like:
  • Any team Steve Nash is on
  • The Celtics ---Boston Garden parquet inspired my home decor.
  • The Bruins ---Though I can't say I've ever watched more than 5 mins of hockey. (Been looking for an xsmall thread-worn vintage black bruins tee. If anyone ever comes across on, please let me know!) 
  • The Boston Red Sox ---Hey, I grew up in Mass, OK?!?
  • The NY Giants --- Always chose to be them while playing Steve Madden Nintendo with my brother.
  • The Atlanta Braves ---Because I LURVE the politically incorrect tomahawk chop.
  • The Cubs --- Good logo, nice uniforms.
  • The Green Bay Packers ---I like those cheese hats & Something About Mary.
I hate and will always hate:
  • The Oakland Raiders---because their fans suck.
  • The LA Lakers--- Kobe Bryant is a rapist.
  • The NY Yankees ---Duh.
  • The San Antonio Spurs--- They are low down dirty cheaters & Tim Duncan's hairline.
  • The Dallas Cowboys--- Annoying.

OK. I've managed to sufficiently bore myself. I promise never to talk sports again... unless it's about Steve Nash being a party monster.

Who's your fave/least fave & why?

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Desultory Delights: No. 6

One of Them


I think it would behoove me to have a do over of these past few weeks.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

C is for:

You know what fixes everything? 
Beer and lorazepam. 

Also, good friends who see things that remind them of you and take the time to let you know. I love every bit of these delicious internet morsels. You know me so well. Although... tell me what you really think of me, HAH!

(Thanks, Celia & ESBx2)

Monday, August 02, 2010


Fulton Ferry State Park,  Brooklyn, NY 1991 Cliff Baldwin
Are you carrying around secrets in your pocket? Do you need to get something off your chest? Deposit an anonymous comment here.