Monday, September 27, 2010

Picture book, of people with each other, to prove they love each other a long time ago

I've been digging for buried treasure and I found a few gems... more stories to come!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Le Locomotion

My dad had a secret sister who plunged to her willful demise from a NYC subway platform back in the 60's. Secret in the sense that no one spoke of her, and I didn't even know she existed until recently. This little nugget of family history has infected my mind like an unrelenting virus. I've probed my mum for information, but my dad's mum on the subject. He's not a talker to begin with and in our culture, we suppress a lot of things and don't talk about things that're embarrassing or shameful.

I just want to know everything about it. Who was there? What was she wearing? What was she like? What did she do right before that moment? How did my dad find out? How old was she? How old was he? What made her do it? Did she have any friends? What was her favorite color? Movie?

How utterly dramatic and tragic and traumatizing for all.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Also, this is pretty gravy.

via heist


Only distance can dull discomfort and most pains. I wonder if I'll reminisce about this period of my life with smudgy delusional fondness. And so the countdown begins...

78 days, 
1875 hours, 
112524 minutes, 
6751446 seconds 

...until Operation Life Reclamation* commences. 

For now, back to macroeconomics. Miss you, bye!

*last day of grad school for both R & me
by  a. mai via ignant

Thursday, September 16, 2010

June Newton

click for NSFW
"It's that I don't like white paper backgrounds. A woman does not live in front of white paper. 
She lives on the street, in a motor car, in a hotel room." 
-Helmut Newton

Diamond Ring and Shadow Bands // Michele Lamy

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


I'm posting dancing bear again for several reasons:
  1. I tend to flail my arms like that when I'm flustered
  2. It makes me happy
  3. I need to be happy right now
  4. I spent the past two hours wearing a leopard bubble trench in a hysterical wailing fit BECAUSE I RAN OVER AND KILLED A  FUCKING DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK. And I thought my drive home yesterday was eventful. I'm just so unbelievably sad right now. Left work late, the sky was dusty blue-black by the time I was a couple blocks from home. To say my neighborhood is unsavory may be an understatement. It's the highest crime area in Phoenix. There are shootings on the regs and no sidewalks. 

Driving down the dark street, all of a sudden a small white stray appeared right in front of me and froze in my headlights. There were oncoming vehicles to the left and cars behind me. It all happened so fast, I couldn't swerve nor slam on my brakes. All I could do was honk my horn and plow right over the little buddy. PLUNK, SQUISH, CRUNCH.

I wanted to pass out right in front of the wheel. I flailed my arms. Then, my hands were glued over my mouth. I called my husband thousands of miles away. I drove to my mom's house. I laid in her lap. I cried uncontrollably. I took off my work clothes. I hyperventilated a fish taco and two handfuls of potato chips. I cried some more. I put on the new HSN leopard trench she ordered for me. I wailed some more. I couldn't look at my dog. I buried my face in my dad's shoulder. I dried out. I drove home. I cried in my bed. I got it together a little. I dug into my stash of anti-anxiety medication that I keep for recreational purposes. I lost it again when I had to take the trash out and noticed the grill of my car looked pushed in underneath. I howled in the driveway. I cracked open a beer. I am medicated. I wrote this post.

Thanks for listening. 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Things I saw:

On the drive home today, bleary eyed, I spied:
  1. A girl with one arm in a lime green tank top hollering at and running after a man with cut off sleeves on a red and black bike with a brown dachshund tied to a white rope at his side
  2. A man in a faded black t-shirt with an equally faded black backwards baseball cap screaming and punching the back passenger side window of a green Corolla-ish car with rust on its bumper in the parking lot of a Circle K
Follow up questions:
  1. How can I ever expect to own a "dachshund," if I can't even/ever spell it?
  2. There must be significant statistical evidence to support the fact that Circle K's are more prone to criminal activity than any other gas station/convenient store franchise, right?

For the Archives: Videotapes

R: We'll just leave the dog here because we'll be busy tomorrow.
My mom: What are you doing?
R: "I have to return some videotapes."
My mom: Oh, ok.
Me: Pfffffffffffffffttttttttttttssssssssnnnooooortttttssskkkkkkkkkchortle

Sunday, September 12, 2010

It's still very much summer here. 
I'm ready for the next chapter, of everything. 

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

When I'm with you...

When I was younger, I used to pride myself on being obnoxiously autonomous. So much so, that'd sometimes I'd wind up pushing people who mattered the most away. Over-overcompensated.

I later learned the hard way that it's hard to be so hard. Not to mention that it really doesn't get you anywhere -- anywhere good, at least.

These days I find myself being a total Klingon. Ridged forehead and all. Instead of compartmentalizing it as unsettling, like I used to... I'm just letting it simmer and melt into a warm spot.

The spot that says, "Like, wow, after 12 years, all I want to do is hang out this person all day and all night."

I'll pass the time by counting down our next encounter, while simultaneously dreading our next departure.

holga on the highline photo by firstmilk 
...I know, I know, wrong coast. Oops.

BTW, Best Coast, so so good.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Don Draper, fixing Sarah's cable. Just sayin'.

"The Sarah Silverman Program." .... Cable Guy (1 episode, 2007) 
    - Muffin' Man (2007) TV episode .... Cable Guy

Friday, September 03, 2010

My kiwi buddies, I hope you're alright! Thinking about yous. Holla back!

Yeah, but...

Yeah, but, these would make death a whole lot sweeter, non?

shoes by loubie

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Goddamn, you're one suave fucker!

Mind you, this ain't no unsubstantiated girl crush. This shit is deep. 

OK, Elle, you've redeemed yourself for that time you tried to get me to dress like a cumdumpster. All is forgiven. You'd better go and thank Kate for this fantastic Blue Velvet spread.

What are you waiting for?! GO!!

[click to enlarge]