Wednesday, July 13, 2011

PSYCH!: Part 2

Part 2 of 2 of my psychic saga continues...
Ponyguy is ready for me! I quietly slink off to his table...

...which was draped in a purple polyester cloth with thousands of tiny silver star appliques. Ponyguy (PG) sits across from me and takes my hands into his. It's difficult to focus on anything but the sharp tiny silver stars poking into my elbows and his single three inch mutant eyebrow.

He asks, "Did you know you have angels around you?"

"Umm, no," I replied.

"Well you do, about four or five of them, encircling you. They help you through challenging emotional times. You should call on them for help."

"OK."

"What would you like to know about today?"

Crap. Didn't do my homework nor learn from friend's reading.

"Uhh, my career? And the future, in general?" 

Ugh. Statements in question tone. Horrible.

He takes out a deck of dog-eared tarot cards. Closes his eyes and taps them against his forehead while flipping the corners. He's breathing deep, channeling, flipping, channeling, flipping. He awakens and slaps the cards down in the Celtic cross arrangement. He grabs his crystal (YES!) and dangles it while asking the question, "Oh, tell us about Grace's career..."

PG goes on to read my career and love sitch without skipping a beat. Eerily spot on. Homeboy was on a roll! Whit even joined in after her session had ended. I'm so glad she was here for this part. He's back into channeling mode again, then suddenly his eyes jolt open!

"Woah! I just time traveled!" PG looked a little startled and scared.

"Ohh, really?" I feigned.

"Kmppppppffffffttt," Whit stifled.

PG tells us that this doesn't happen to him often, and that he went through a portal... and... saw me with my two children. A boy and a girl. The girl would be older. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh... that's the sound of my interest shriveling up. For those of you who know me, know that R and I are avidly child-free (and sterile!)*. So. I didn't correct him, but I was thinking, Check, please!

All in all, my review? It was definitely worth the $40 in entertainment and shared experience value. But as my wise partner in psychic crime advises, next time I'm tempted to go again, I should make a donation to UNICEF instead.


*I guess anything can happen, but it's rather unlikely. Only time will tell!



Read Part 1 here or just scroll down five inches.

9 comments:

  1. maybe by "your children" he meant "young servants you will kidnap from a coastal village whilst on a raid in your viking long ship." did he mention a long journey over water?

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  2. also, can "woah! i just time traveled!" be the new "rrrrrrawr! i shit myself!" (cf the aristocrats)?

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  3. They were your children in the past life. The question is, who are they now? :)

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  4. OH! I'm 'most certain that he time traveled forward.

    But I love your theories.

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  5. this makes me laugh.

    maybe by "children" he meant "dogs".

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  6. Naurnie, I also thought that! Bella *is* my oldest girl.

    That OR he caught Whit's energy when she came over.

    That OR it's all bullshit.

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  7. i'm going to go with the "bullshit" option.

    my sister had her cards read when we were in new orleans in january and that joker told her she was gonna have FOUR KIDS. i bring it up often so that she freaks out.

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  8. Dude, GTFO of Breeder Land

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  9. ok, psychics are bananas, but anything *could* happen. it truly still is a mystery to me how i got pregnant. completely unexplainable. so now, when we have sex, we make sure to wrap ourselves in large black hefty bags first. you gotta do what you gotta do...

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The divine PB&J in me, salutes the divine PB&J in you.