Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Searchy Searchersons

Guys, please forgive me if this is presumptuous, but I think I may have the best keyword searches ever. I mean, I'm sure yours are fine and good and all, but check some of these sweet honeys out:
  • small cunt
  • iggy pop nude
  • tracy morgan belly
  • ann margret nipple
  • hot men with chihuahuas
  • gay men knee socks short pants
  • puffy assholes (#1 of About 11,400,000 results!) 
  • life is a series of commas not periods (a McConaughey quote)
  • crackwhore monthly (#1 of About 167,000 results!)
  • naked women and naked asses and boobs
  • black as midnight on a moonless night
  • הרפס לתינוק (Hebrew for herpes baby)
  • diamond encrusted teeth
  • ambien side effects
  • david lynch haircut
  • jaw wired shut
  • possum poop
  • shut in
Do you ever look at your keyword analyses? My drug of choice is StatCounter.com. 


  1. haha i laughed so hard at these, particularly the "puffy assholes!" my keywords aren't entertaining at all!

  2. aw, hahaha. NUMBER 1!!!!!!! my internet legacy.

  3. Roberto'8/10/11, 12:40 AM

    #1 in puffy assholes AND crackwhore monthly searches, even coming in ahead of Southpark in the second one. You are truly a force to be reckoned with! Congratulations are in order!

  4. ps. You got the reference! Do you think if I contacted Matt and Trey, they'd give me tickets to Book of Mormon?

  5. that is amazing.

    yesterday at work we were talking about being "locked up abroad" and i googled "movie about turkish prison with boob on the glass". i couldn't remember the name "midnight express".

    also, never google image search for robert mapplethorpe while at work.

  6. This is my favorite. For realz.

  7. hahahaha what the fuck

  8. Roberto'8/10/11, 11:47 AM

    Probably 4 front row seats to the Book of Mormon.

  9. +Naurnie, awesome. I now, people might get redirected here when they google, "movie about turkish prison with boob on the glass"! Thanks!!

    +kat, theeeeeeeeeeeenks! so fun! they make me laugh out loud sometimes.

    +nikki, SRSLY.

    +Roberto', I shall write a letter!

  10. this reminded me of my favorite thing -- to get loaded and watch hill billies drain cysts and/or remove parasites on youtube. it's disgusting, and i can't believe they film it (everyone's got an iphone these days). i guess i also can't believe i admitted this.

  11. WOAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, dude, are you on google+? we should start a hangout and watch those videos together. love you.

  12. Ohohohohohaaaaaaaaaa naked women and naked asses and boobs!
    I had 'poodle penis' as a pretty popular search for a bit...not as awesome, but still pretty awesome??

  13. +holly, that is a GREAT one! sickos...

  14. OMG!
    THIS JUST IN: New favorite keyword!!

    future armadillos


The divine PB&J in me, salutes the divine PB&J in you.