Friday, July 29, 2011

Nailed It

I've always wondered a lot about ethnic division of labor in the country. R pointed me to this story.

"The story of how the Vietnamese fell into the nail industry is one of pure chance -- of how 20 women who fled their war-torn country happened to meet a Hollywood starlet with beautiful nails.
The women were former teachers, business owners and government officials who came to America in 1975 after the fall of Saigon and landed in a tent city for Vietnamese refugees near Sacramento called Hope Village. 
Actress Tippi Hedren, drawn to the plight of Vietnamese refugees, visited every few days. The Vietnamese knew little of Hollywood, so Hedren showed them Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" and pointed out her face on the screen.
Hedren was captivated by the refugees' stories of their homeland. They were, among other things, fascinated by her nails -- long, oval, the color of coral.
"I noticed that these women were very good with their hands," said Hedren, now 78. "I thought, why couldn't they learn how to do nails?"
So Hedren flew in her manicurist once a week to teach the women how to trim cuticles, remove calluses and perform nail wraps. She persuaded a nearby beauty school to teach the women and helped them find jobs."

Sidebar: Tippi Hedren is Melanie Griffith's mum. 
Sidesidebar: Does anyone else get Melanie Griffith and Goldie Hawn mixed up?

Now let's all go get our nails did!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


The Bellavator has a panic attack during the last monsoon.

AKA The Most Boring Post Ever

  • Unlocked my Twitter account. It's a free for all, y'all!
  • Having fun on G+... add me to your People That I Liked Better Before I Knew Way Too Much About Them circle! 
  • Constantly feeling so grateful for all of you guys. You make life less lonely.
  • Attempting to workout again, despite my main motivation to go to the gym, Cash Cab, changing times on me. Come back, Ben Bailey, I'm getting chunkay!
  • Catching up on correspondence; using up some old stock before a) postage increase b) Hoarders shows up at my doorstep c) I can justify buying awesome new stamps/paper
  • Reconciling the fact that summer is almost over (even though the weather doesn't know that until after Halloween)
  • Enjoying monsoon season in the desert. I have THE most hilarious video of my dog having a panic attack (so mean, will upload). 
  • Experimenting with Urban Decay eye shadows & can't stop watching Pixiwoo tutorials
  • Going on weekly romantic pizza dates at Pizzeria Bianco

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Orion Nebula // The Keyholder

"Worse than not realizing 
the dreams of your youth,
would be to have been young 
and never dreamed at all." 
-Jean Genet

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How Much?

I often wonder how much of me is really me, and how much of me is actually you?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


"If you are depressed, 
you are living in the past.

If you are anxious, 
you are living in the future.

If you are at peace, 
you are living in the present."
-Lao Tzu

Let's all try to live in the present more.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Party time! Excellent!

I couldn't put my finger on it, but YES!

I mean, people only care about her because she's progeny of The Trashwomen, right?

Wigger shit aside, it is a prettttttty, prettttttttttttay, prettttttttttaaaay catchy tune.

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Escape by Calvin Klein 
My signature scent throughout middle school.

OFF! Bug Repellent
Ridiculous amounts of 'skeeters in MA.
Paul Mitchell Awapuhi Mist
Refreshing for humid summers and no central air.
Drakkar Noir
All the boys would bathe in this shit.
Love's Baby Soft
Dabbled in this for a bit, but stayed true to Calv.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

For Introverts:

"Pro: Acquaintances think you’re smart.
Con: Acquaintances think you are upset when they meet you.
Pro: You’re seen as “chill.”
Con: You aren’t sure if you’re “chill” or “a doormat.” 

Pro: There seems to be a group of individuals who romantically pursue introverted people almost exclusively. 
Con: Less people are romantically interested in you.*
Pro: You can enjoy a symbiotic, BFF-esque relationship with a loud person. 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

PSYCH!: Part 2

Part 2 of 2 of my psychic saga continues...
Ponyguy is ready for me! I quietly slink off to his table...

...which was draped in a purple polyester cloth with thousands of tiny silver star appliques. Ponyguy (PG) sits across from me and takes my hands into his. It's difficult to focus on anything but the sharp tiny silver stars poking into my elbows and his single three inch mutant eyebrow.

He asks, "Did you know you have angels around you?"

"Umm, no," I replied.

"Well you do, about four or five of them, encircling you. They help you through challenging emotional times. You should call on them for help."


"What would you like to know about today?"

Crap. Didn't do my homework nor learn from friend's reading.

"Uhh, my career? And the future, in general?" 

Ugh. Statements in question tone. Horrible.

He takes out a deck of dog-eared tarot cards. Closes his eyes and taps them against his forehead while flipping the corners. He's breathing deep, channeling, flipping, channeling, flipping. He awakens and slaps the cards down in the Celtic cross arrangement. He grabs his crystal (YES!) and dangles it while asking the question, "Oh, tell us about Grace's career..."

PG goes on to read my career and love sitch without skipping a beat. Eerily spot on. Homeboy was on a roll! Whit even joined in after her session had ended. I'm so glad she was here for this part. He's back into channeling mode again, then suddenly his eyes jolt open!

"Woah! I just time traveled!" PG looked a little startled and scared.

"Ohh, really?" I feigned.

"Kmppppppffffffttt," Whit stifled.

PG tells us that this doesn't happen to him often, and that he went through a portal... and... saw me with my two children. A boy and a girl. The girl would be older. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh... that's the sound of my interest shriveling up. For those of you who know me, know that R and I are avidly child-free (and sterile!)*. So. I didn't correct him, but I was thinking, Check, please!

All in all, my review? It was definitely worth the $40 in entertainment and shared experience value. But as my wise partner in psychic crime advises, next time I'm tempted to go again, I should make a donation to UNICEF instead.

*I guess anything can happen, but it's rather unlikely. Only time will tell!

Read Part 1 here or just scroll down five inches.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Busc

this is what happens when you try too hard

put glasses over
glasses this morning and saw
that i could not see.

Monday, July 11, 2011

PSYCH!: Part 1

My buddy Whitney was in town a couple weekends ago, and we decided to go get our tarot cards read. R scoffed and dropped us off at Vision Quest: Metaphysical Bookstore on a hot summer's day.

The bookstore is lined with all kinds of wackadoodle books on spirituality, witchcraft, and anything you can think of. Kiosks packed full of sage, incense, candles, oils, and crystals dance in the aisles. Oh, and chimes, there are many many chimes.

We stop at the "menu" board that lists names and specialties next to them. A smattering of talents are on display such as Tarot, Medium, Past-Lives, Angels, Palms, Numerology, Clairvoyant, Astrology Channel, Photo-reading, Healing, Psychometry, Palms, Tea Leaves, and on and on and on.

Overwhelmed by the offerings, we opted to take a lap around the store to get a sense of the readers (they are set up at little tables around the perimeter of the room). I immediately spot my guy. He's in his late fifties, long white ponytail, glasses, dangling a crystal over some cards... yes, it had to be him.

We continue our lap around the store to shop our other options. One woman is shouting on a Bluetooth, which Whit initially mistook as speaking to the spirits. She chooses a nice stout redheaded woman, but it turns out Red didn't do readings, just spirit paintings or someshit. So instead, she just took the first available.

We register at the front counter and decide that I would sit with Whitney for part of her reading until Ponyguy was finished with his current foo--I mean, clients. Her psychic walks up to greet us, and looks straight at me, "Whitney?"

WOW. That was the first clue that she didn't really have psychic powers. It pretty much took every single molecule in my body not to break down in laughter and defecate everywhere. I'm not sure that sage could clean that up.

So we settle in with her lady, Blondie, let's call her. At Blondie's request, Whit places her feet on the ground and her hands in Blondie's. Blondie asks Whit what brought her in today, and what questions she had for her. This took us both off guard, as we didn't know that we had to come prepared with life questions/problems.

Whit asks about the general future. Blondie swings and misses a tragic number of times. Whit, being the sweetheart that she is, keeps trying to lob her some softballs and get her back on track. But all in all, Blondie was a very nice lady, but that was about it.

Ponyguy is ready for me! I quietly slink off to his table...

...To be continued...

Friday, July 08, 2011

Desultory Delights: No. 9

I hope you've enjoyed the latest installment of the Desultory Delights series, in which I round up my favorite web finds. May this weekend deliver you many good vibrations.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Last Night

Experiential blogging, take 1.
Press play on both videos simultaneously.

[2011 JUL 05 7:45 - 8:15 PM PST]

Pulled over in the ghetto,
a mere five minutes from home.
Parking break and hazards on,
breathing through a t-shirt.
So close, yet so far away,
hoping not to get blown a stray.

Another great HABOOB shot.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Adieu, hairshirt

I bid you adieu, hairshirt. I'm not really sure why I thought I needed a hairshirt to begin with. I supposed I was fond of the idea of strolling around the house without a shirt on, but still maintaining a degree of hippy modesty.

Within the span of ten minutes or so on Saturday, my once beloved hairshirt turned into a pentecostalesque burden. So, tonight, I've an appointment for hacking. T'was fun while it lasted. Now I can say that I did it.

Commence the age old battle royale: bangs or no bangs?