Thursday, March 01, 2012

Dear W&M: Americah, Fuck Yeah!

Dear W&M,

I wish I had a question about felching but I'm single and boring and concerned about faeco-oral transmission of pathogens. 

Therefore I will ask you for help of a cleaner kind. I am visiting your continent in June (mainly the West half) and due to my poor knowledge of American geography and destinations I need some advice. I am spending a week in Vancouver with a friend, followed by a week in Portland with another friend, then my Portland (originally Aussie) friend and I have two weeks to travel around before I head home to Australia (via LAX or DFW). 

Thus far we have toyed with the option of train to SF, road trip to Vegas and Grand Canyon. What do you think? Should I be hitting LA, Salt Lake City or Phoenix instead? Or truncate the road-tripping and head to Hawaii? 

Thank you for being wise and not a dumb ass*,

*            *           *
Howdy, E!
  1. First off, DO NOT FUCKING GO TO UTAH. 
  2. Definitely go to SF. It's an amazing city. So much to do/see/eat. It's my 2nd favorite US city (behind NYC).
  3. It'd be great to spend a few days in LA before you head back. Perhaps hit up a spa in Palm Springs?
  4. Vegas is a depressing hyper-reality cesspool, but an interesting sight. However, be forewarned, it'll drain you of all soul & cash.
  5. The Grand Canyon is kind of meh, unless you're into that outdoorsy shit. A colleague's wife just recently fell into it while hiking and died!
  6. I'd suggest skipping Hawaii, you know, because you're already coming from an island in region.
  7. Phoenix, it'll be hot as fuck here in June (120°F/49°C), and there's not too much to see (besides me of course-- but that's not worth an 8 hour drive).
Bon voyage! Send postcards!

Lurve you long time,

*are you sure about that?

[If you'd like to submit a question, please email me. No subject too random. No holds barred.]


  1. 49°C! Holy crap. I thought my town was unnecessarily hot.

    3.2 beer? Holy crap. I thought my town's liquor laws were strict.

    Death by Grand Canyon? Holy crap! I thought my town had scary tourist deaths. Death in Vegas would suck too, like that song they did with Liam Gallagher.

    Does the US have big things? You know, oversized, decrepit novelty landmarks?

    PS you rock

  2. SF is an awesome idea. there is so much do ! good food & booze, amazing scenery, and outdoorsy shit if you are into it. personally, i fucking love outdoorsy shit, so i think a road trip from vegas to the four corners would be fun -- including of course Hoover Dam (LOVED IT ! i'm a nerd), the grand canyon, kaibab national forest, zion national park, etc etc etc. and yes, Utah's liquor laws are weird, but if you go to any decent place, they'll be able to get you drunk, so don't let that spoil your fun.

  3. 1. if you like geology and/or landscapes go to Utah. it is beautiful to drive through
    2. SF, do that.
    3. LA is fun.
    4. So true.
    5. The Grand Canyon cannot be described in words, but I'm into outdoorsy shit.
    6. Can't say either way, I want to go.
    7. Hot doesn't even begin to describe the level of hot.
    8. my suggested loop: Vancouver, Portland, San Fran, National Parks of Utah, Grand Canyon, LA. (Flagstaff, AZ is a cool town if you go to Phoenix to see Gracie)

  4. San Francisco - you can eat.

  5. dead on, as use. i am from vegas, and well versed in all mention states. road trip south through california.

  6. but yeah, utah has fucking gorg outdoorsy shit, as 17 beats mentioned. see we dont know enough about the reader. this is always the issue i take with dear ESBs, as well.


  8. Living in Utah- I agree that some of the liquor laws are jacked. But really you just have to order food with drinks-even just a little side works.
    If you want to see snow- you could take a ski lift up at most any ski resort in Utah and see some snow on the ground still. *well most years in June*

    big things in Australia are awesome! Odd things would be the closest-


The divine PB&J in me, salutes the divine PB&J in you.