woolgathering & miscellany

The Rosette Nebula // Waris

2012-02-19T00:25:00.000-07:00

"I love her and that's
the beginning and end

of everything."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

Good littles

2012-02-16T09:27:00.002-07:00

The little things I lurve:

♥ When people say "irrespective" - It's so fucking hot and grammatically correct! Absolutely titillating!

♥ Mistaking your dog's dreaming noises for the Words with Friends "bloopbloopbloop" sound effects

♥ Waking up on Saturday thinking you have to go to work, then realizing it's Saturday!! Then going straight back to sleep!

♥ That bittersweet feeling of simultaneous accomplishment and yearning after finishing an excellent book

♥ Pouring hot water directly onto a teabag, even though it be actin' a smug twat

♥ When a bulleted list lines up nicely (e.g. from this bullet onward)

♥ Actively feeling yourself growing through experiences (good and bad)

♥ When the dashboard's temp/time matches the report on the radio

♥ Rediscovering a product that you thought had been discontinued

♥ When you & your friend get each other the same present

♥ Remembering someone's birthday without relying on FB

♥ Laughing until you're on the verge of tears and/or pee

♥ Successfully parallel parking on the first try

Et toi?

via

Blue Valentine

2012-02-15T21:43:00.000-07:00

"You can finish this movie,
I'm going to finish our taxes." -r.

Maybe next year...

2012-02-14T12:50:00.001-07:00

"Unearthen x Alexandra Cassaniti vial necklace (filled with your blood)

...a nice throwback to early-aughts-era Angelina Jolie."

"Chanel condoms, only $279 for a box of 12"

The genius minds behind Cat Party bring you a Very Politically Incorrect Valentine's Day gift guide. I'm so into the blood vial necklace.

(We're also not gift-givers.)

Numerology

2012-02-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

13 years ago on the 14th day of the 2nd month, our 2 bodies --still unafflicted by gravity-- lay next to each other on 1 sagging full sized mattress encased in presumably 80 thread count sheets.

Heart thumping at what felt like 200 beats per minute, I stared up at the ceiling and blurted out 1 leading question that would create enough inertia to propel us through all of space and time.

"What should I say if someone asks if I have a boyfriend?"

And with 2 words and 0 signs of shakiness in your voice, you answered:

"Say 'yes.'"

photo

2012-02-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

Love you guys.

Vintage Valentine's via What is Imperfect

Dear W&M: We're gift-givers now?

2012-02-10T11:33:00.001-07:00

Dear W&M,

The guy and I do not do Valentine's Day. Like, ever. But all of the sudden, he springs it on me that he got me something. And now I want to get him something, because, you know, he's awesome, and apparently we're gift-givers now. But I have no clue what to buy him for said made-up holiday. Everything out there is just too mushy or involves crap around hanky panky, which is more than likely going to happen because it's a Tuesday and NOT because it's Valentine's Day. He's a practical guy who doesn't do jewelry (as in, he's already lost 2 wedding rings) and he loves his tech stuff. And really, I'm not so much set on giving it to him on Valentine's anyway, since he will be working long hours. So this whole 4-day time limit isn't an issue.

So please, help a sistah out!

XO,

The Gifting Impaired

* * *

Dear Gifting Impaired,

Fuck your guy for being so thoughtful and breaking your no gifts treaty (literally & figuratively)! You're probably expecting me to pull an amazing dudetastic gift guide out of my ass and totally solve your problem by telling you what to buy, right? TOO EASY!

Gift giving shouldn't feel like a chore or obligation. Don't get him a gift because he decided to suddenly violate the agreement. My guess is that the breach was caused by him seeing something that he knew you'd love; which is what gifting is all about and NOT some arbitrary date on the calendar.

Forced gifts will inevitably feel forced. Think about when you give someone something you know will make them happy. Do you ever expect a gift in return? NO! (At least I hope not, because that would make you a shitty person [and I don't think you are one].) The gift-giver's ultimate gift is basking in the glow of the giftee's happiness and delight! So that's what you should do. Be a gracious recipient and thank him for his thoughtfulness (oh, and bang him).

If he acts like an asshole about not getting a gift in return 1) you can send him the link to this post and blame it on me 2) you should probably dump his ass for being such a selfish, immature prick.

With that said, if you're still completely stressed about being empty handed, why not get some nice stationery and write him a long heartfelt letter about how much he means to you? Or get something that the two of you can enjoy together, like a fancy bottle of champagne, tickets to a show, passes to a museum, or create an itinerary for a day filled with his favorite places to eat/things to do. Also, this print is pretty awesome:

Good luck, and let us know what he got you, okay??

Love,

Gracie

[If you'd like to submit a question, please email me. No subject too random. No holds barred.]

mousie via

2012-02-10T09:17:00.002-07:00

If you hadn't noticed, the theme for February is lurve.

How utterly cliché!

1, 2, 3

Dear W&M: The bars aren't cutting it

2012-02-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

Dear W&M,

I'm 28 and just got out of a long term relationship of 6 years. I have been trying to go out and meet new guys, but they are all assholes and unemployed losers! The bars aren't cutting it, and I'm just not sure where to look anymore.

Help!
K.

* * *

Dear K,

Argh! I'm sorry to hear it. Dating when you're 22 vs. 28 is very different. You're older, wiser, and savvier! You can't go back to the same watering holes to look for mates anymore because your expectations are a lot higher now. So, I think you need to get more creative with your venues. Here are a few suggestions:

The Dry Cleaners // Prospecting

The probability is high that single dudes who frequent the dry cleaners have respectable wardrobes and/or J-O-B-S. Why not hang around a little longer next time you drop off your soiled goodies? Keep your eyes peeled, stay alert, you might just find someone that turns your crank! Hopefully you'll be making sweet new stains together.

Friends of Friends // Vetting

I'm a big advocate of dating friends of friends. Why? Your friends have already done the vetting for you! Plus, they care about you and have your best interest in mind. They certainly wouldn't want you to get hurt by an asshole (even if the asshole is their friend, too.) Just keep in mind that breaking up with friends of friends can be a little tricky, but it's a risk to assume if you're going to go this route.

Volunteer // Aligning

Instead of waking up hung-the-fuck-over next to some strange douchebag on a Saturday morning, why not volunteer your time for an organization/candidate whose mission/message you strongly believe in? You can do some good and potentially meet someone of interest at the same time. The best part about this is that the people you'll meet here will most likely share your core values.

Good luck!

Yours,

Gracie

[If you'd like to submit a question, please email me. No subject too random. No holds barred.]

photo

2012-02-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

jeffrey lewis

A Little Bit Eternal

2012-02-02T20:19:00.001-07:00

Jesusfuckingchrist, I want to be Michele Lamy when I grow up.
How fucking sweet and in love are they??? Makes my heart sing.
Thank you for sending this to me, Pour Porter! ♥

RIP

2012-01-30T09:52:00.002-07:00

photo

Melotte 15 in the Heart // Balenciaga

2012-01-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

"I can resist everything

except temptation."

-Oscar Wilde

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

Dear W&M: How do I bring up porn?

2012-01-24T23:10:00.000-07:00

dear w&m,

i've never watched porn with my husb, but i sort of think it might be fun.

does he want to? how do i bring it up?

and what titles would you recommend to a sorta kinky, likes-to-be-spanked-ish, not-quite-hipster white chick?

OMIGOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M EMAILING YOU THIS QUESTION

* * *

Dear OICBIEYTQ,

FUCK YES, HE FUCKING WANTS TO!!! He's a red-blooded male!

I'd suggest that the next time you guys are making out, that you talk dirty to him and bring up your desire to watch porn with him, as part of your foreplay. Keep in mind that it doesn't have to happen that night... you're just simply laying the groundwork.

A little bit of libatious lubrication (during the disclosure and/or the viewing) can't hurt either. Just make sure it's only enough to ease the nerves, but not so much to cause whiskey dick or a case of the giggles. Either will surely put a damper on the mood.

Before investing in full fledged titles (besides Edward Penishands?!?), I'd urge you to check out free sites like xTube and xHamster. Might I also recommend certain pay sites such as Burning Angel, home of "Alt Porn." Poke around by yourself a little and favorite the ones you like for easy access later.

Seriously, OICBIEYTQ, I'm pretttttttty pretttttttttay sure he'll be so thrilled that you asked! Please have fun and report back!

XXXOH,
Gracie

[If you'd like to submit a question, please email me. No subject too random. No holds barred.]

image

Night & Day

2012-01-24T21:33:00.000-07:00

PHARMA-PHAIL! These colors for nighttime cold medicine and daytime cold medicine are wicked confusing!

Can you guess which is which?

2012-01-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

personal & the pizzas

Dear W&M: I hate my blog today!

2012-01-17T21:11:00.002-07:00

dear w&m,

i hate my blog today.

what do i do?

love,

anonymous

* * *

Dear Anon,

Sorry to hear it. Boy, I can sure relate. Here are a few suggestions for when you're hatin' on your blog.

go to a public library and set your blog as the default homepage for all the browsers, then hide behind a book stack and spy on people reading it

comment anonymously* on your own posts

start a new secret blog and say things you've always wanted to

shut down your computer and go for a nice long walk outside

read other people's blogs that are worse than yours

post random images with no context

rent or download a porno; perhaps Edward Penishands?

take a hiatus and don't fucking apologize for it

delete it

Yours ever,

Gracie

[If you'd like to submit a question, please email me. No subject too random. No holds barred.]

*for the record: this was a real submission

photo

2012-01-12T08:47:00.002-07:00

Him: KEEP YOUR SHIT CLAWS OUT OF MY PREVAGE*!
Me: ....................

*anti-aging night cream

Anew

2012-01-10T09:23:00.003-07:00

As blank and as aimless as ever.

by Tim Frank Schmitt via I'm Revolting

MMXI

2011-12-31T21:35:00.001-07:00

I did not take up smoking in 2011.

via

Happy new year.

Phantom Surfers Alphabet

2011-12-30T00:06:00.000-07:00

About time to fuck
'Bout time to fuck some more
Crisco party
Diaper pussy
Electric dick
Furry little pussy balls
Grafenberg spot
Hambone bush job
I like to fuck
Jack me off (Jill me off)
King Kong ball sack stretched out from teabagging
Long Dong Silver
Mangina
Now lick it clean
Oysters and ass
P-p-p-poontang
Quick fuck in the confessional
Retroactive fuck
Stickpussy
Tapioca hard sticks from hell
U better go get tested
Vegetarian cock
We're a sexy bunch of bastards, aren't we? (hell no!)
Xcuses for premature ejaculation
Y because we like you
Zombie pussy

D&DDYTS

2011-12-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

A dark and dismal downward YouTube spiral. Have you experienced this phenomena where you're looking at something innocuous, then only to realize you've Hansel and Greteled yourself into a dark dark place? Ever been bamboozled by that siren of a "Recommended Videos" sidebar?

Here's a roadmap to my most recent D&DDYTS:

Shit Girls Say Episode 3 [hypnotized by Juliette Lewis' plastic surgery] → Botox Injections → Juvaderm Lip Filler Injections → Breast Lift Surgery → Labiaplasty → Natural Unmedicated Birth

Does this happen to you? What's your worst experience?

photo

W5: Pillars of Star Formation // Paths Crossed

2011-12-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

“Unfortunately, the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting.”

- Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

2011-12-18T19:26:00.002-07:00

via

Glossophobia

2011-12-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

PUBLIC SPEAKING = GULP! PANT, PANT, PANT! GULLLP!!

PUBLIC SPEAKING IN MANDARIN = VOM CITY, U.S.A!!

The Almighty Spongester Challenge

2011-12-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

My little buddy

ZEE BACKSTORY:
I first learned about Spongster when they followed me on Twitter. After seeing a few hilarious tweets, I clicked through only to discover the product of my dreams. If you know me at all, you know that I love a good dry sponge.

My problem before was that I had a single sponge caddy with shitty suction cups. My Good Sponge was dry as a bone, but my Evil Sponge was left to fester and flop about the sink. So, alas, I bought a Spongester and it makes me happy every time I see it. Best buy of 2011, hands down.

[This is not a sponsored post. I only wish to spread the gospel of Spongester. The Creator has generously obliged to host a contest & giveaway on W&M.]

ZEE RULES:
To win your own Spongster and possibly have your words put into production, alls you have to do is leave a comment with creative names for the "Good Sponge"/"Evil Sponge" shelves and your contact information.

No guarantee, but the winning entry could be put into production! Isn't that exciting? Your brain nuggets physically residing in strangers homes all over the world. The winner will be chosen by Spongester and announced on January 15th.

ZEE FINE PRINT:

All entries are for entertainment purposes only. Any submitted names could be used on a Spongester in a commercial production. By submitting a suggested name or improvement, the contestant agrees to forfeit any claim to royalty, ownership,intelectual property, invention, trademark, copyright or other restrictions for the use of the name.

...OR if these terms freak you out, get your own here.

2011-12-04T22:26:00.001-07:00

Oh Yes

Fuck Yeah

Butt Trophy

2011-12-04T22:20:00.000-07:00

Desultory Delights: No. 10 Video Edition

2011-11-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

Martha Stewart says "fuck" (21:12) and Marissa Mayer laughs like a stoner throughout
Hands down, my all time favorite clip of a woman who just wants to party being interviewed on the street. Remember Google Video?! Pre-YouTube acquisition. The world was a different place back then. [Warning: NSFW]
Disturbing video of Arkansas Judge William Adams beating his teenage daughter as punishment for using the internet. The rest of her uploads cobble together an interesting and rather sad narrative. [Warning: Violence]
Pulitzer Prize winning author Jennifer Egan pulls a piece of white fuzz from her shirt (27:44) and talks about her amazing book, A Visit from the Goon Squad [Warning: Spoilers]
A Marla Singer makeup tutorial,"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school" is still one of the best movie quotes ever.
A thirsty baby armadillo seeks water from a hose
Everyone's probably seen Marcel the Shell by now. I'm obsessed with the quote, "Guess why I smile a lot? Uh, cuz it's worth it." thanks to my girl Naurnie.
My better half's band, Garage Shock, covering the legendary Mummies
The only reason (in my estimation) that YouTube exists, CAT VIDEOS. Preferably angry, Japanese, playing the keyboard, and/or animated.

I drafted the first part of this post a couple of weeks ago. Since then, I got to film MY VERY OWN JAPANESE CAT VIDEO!

While strolling around Shinjuku looking for a Mister Donut to kill a couple hours before meeting our friend Yuki, I was tempted by a girl holding a large placard plastered with adooooooooooooorable cat photos. I spontaneously dragged Ryan and Makito up the stairs and into the Calico Cat Cafe. This is some bucket list shit right here.

(GAWD, is there anything worse than hearing your own voice on a recording?! Plz don't judge.)

photo

logo

No Colors Anymore

2011-11-29T20:49:00.001-07:00

via

IC 59 & 63 in Cassiopeia // ADR

2011-11-15T21:31:00.001-07:00

“I either want less corruption,

or more chance toparticipate in it.”

-Ashleigh Brilliant

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

Push/Pull

2011-11-14T20:16:00.001-07:00

Things that make me want to paint again:

via

maira kalman

Things that don't make me want to paint again:

-Failure

-Lack of follow through

-Buying new paints/brushes

-Unearthing my easel from the garage

That said, I think I should.

Holiday Gift Guide 2011

2011-11-13T19:27:00.001-07:00

Because last year's gift guide was such a success:

Vices

2011-11-13T19:06:00.001-07:00

My G+ Sparks list:

The latest issue of Vice (pp.70-87):

2011-11-08T14:54:00.001-07:00

Last year of my twenties. Time to fuck shit up!

transvestite and her birthday cake by diane arbus

(via the-astrovert)

MMMJ

2011-11-06T18:50:00.001-07:00

How meta would it be if Marc Jacobs got a Muscle Man Marc tattoo?

UPDATE 11/08/11:

“That was probably the greatest honor of my entire life so far. I am the Muscle Man Marc doll on South Park, and I joined the very great ranks of being one of Cartman’s toys — although I get boiled to death at the end of the episode,” he gushed. “I think [South Parkcreators] Matt and Trey are just probably the two most brilliant people in the entire world, and it is definitely my favorite program on TV ... I have two of Cartman’s toys tattooed, one on each forearm — Clyde Frog and the other one is Rumpletumskin.”

“That’ll be my next tattoo, the Muscle Man Marc from South Park,” he said. [source]

UPDATE 11/16/11:

via SGCNYC

Excuse me while I clean my brains off of the wall behind me.

photo.01

Fuck Diptyque

2011-11-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

AMIRIGHT?????

"White Castle has teamed up with Laura Slatkin, often called the "queen" of home fragrances, to introduce a candle with the steam-grilled-on-a-bed-of-onions scent of America's first fast-food hamburger. Packaged in a ceramic holder that reproduces the signature cardboard sleeve of the White Castle Slyder. Net proceeds donated to support Autism Speaks."

Get your own at a mere $13

Odd Couple

2011-11-02T14:43:00.000-07:00

PROLOGUE

Him: A tallish lad with dark hair that's short on the slides and fashioned in a non-ironic comb-over. Plastic rimmed glasses, black. T-shirt, red.

Her: An average sized gal with mousy brown, slightly frizzing triangle hair. Hooded sweatshirt, white.

Them: Nondescript blue jeans and flat shoes, sneakers maybe. Youngish, no older than 33, I'd say.

Me: A smallish framed woman with dark straight hair parted down the middle, a little bloated. Cat eye sunglasses, black. Wrap dress clamped shut by crossed legs, grey.

ACT ONE

Them: Walking Easterly by for the first time.

Me: Eating a salad laden with fried chicken, and a side of fried pickles, looks up at Them.

Him: Comb over blowing in the wind. Looking stoic. Good posture.

Me: Thinking, "How sad! Youngish hipstery kid with a non-ironic comb-over. Poor buddy."

Her: Walking close, left arm reaching up to place her left hand on his right shoulder.

Them: Silent.

ACT TWO

Them: Walking Westerly by me same her-hand-on-his-shoulder formation.

Me: Looking up from my John Waters book, thinking, "How strange."

ACT THREE

Them: Walking Westerly by me again!

Me: "When did they walk back by?!? I missed it! What weirdos!"

Her: Walking briskly three steps in front of him, arms crossed.

Him: Semi-trying to catch up with her.

Them: Still silent.

DENOUEMENT

Me: Still watching. Wondering what possibly could have transpired during their silent back and forth pacing.

Him: Catches up to her and puts his arm around her.

Her: Arms still crossed trying to pull away.

Him: Arm now around her neck.

Her: Leaning into his chest as if in a headlock.

Him: Rubbing her back. Slowly migrating his hand to her ass.

photo

Ghost of the Cepheus Flare // Blown Away

2011-10-31T16:49:00.000-07:00

"An idea,

like a ghost,

must be
spoken to a little
before it will
explain itself."

-Charles Dickens

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

Dog Day Afternoon

2011-10-31T10:55:00.000-07:00

Daddy Issues

2011-10-25T23:06:00.000-07:00

On the way home from a fun filled jaunt to SF for the weekend, we stop by my parents house Sunday night to collect the doggin. My mom is standing at the garage door in her underwear and no makeup, shoving Bella into my arms.

"We'refine!Don'tneedtocomeup,Everything'sgreat!Didyouguyshavefun?Youmustbetired!Goodnight!" and sweeps us out the garage. I didn't even need to know how to spot a liar to know that she was up to no good.

Driving home, R and I joke about how she probably wouldn't even tell us if my dad (who had been under the weather for a couple of weeks) died, then referenced the episode of Curb where LD's mom passed away and his dad didn't tell him because he didn't want to "bother him."

Monday morning I dropped by before work to bring her a present from our trip. Something seemed off when I walked in. I opened the door to their bedroom and my dad's side of the bed was pristine.

"Where's dad..." I said, a little taken aback by the thunking seriousness of my voice.

"He's at the hospital," she said, bleary eyed, propping herself up.

"SINCE WHEN?"

"Sunday morning," she yawned and stretched, "We didn't want you to worry!"

I guess it's not so funny when she's doing it to you.

* * *

Room 246. I'm afraid of what I might find when I push back the heavy wooden door. He looks worse than I had imagined. Small, frail (obviously, right? who looks strong and healthy in a hospital bed?) trapped in a web of tangled tubes that resemble the backside of a computer desk.

Oxygen tubes wrap around his face that seems more bespeckled with liver spots than usual, or could've been the haaaarible lighting in there. IV bags hover above like pregnant translucent vultures. He turns to look at me.

Seeing him like this only made me think of the time when I was seven and ran over his big toe with my new pink scooter with chubby clumsy white tires. His toenail eventually turned black and fell off, but he wasn't mad at me. I smiled at him while choking back some tears, while knowing that my red nose is probably a dead giveaway.

"Hey, Dad!" I said, a little taken aback by the upbeat steadiness of my voice.

photo by sally mann

Slice of Heaven

2011-10-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

via No clue who this dude is, but great quote nonetheless.

Pizzeria Bianco tomorrow night!

A love letter.

Personal & the Pizzas Friday night in SF!

InVESTment

2011-10-17T18:08:00.000-07:00

I want this jacket! 'Cept for I don't know Gucci Mane from shinola.

via SIRN tumblr

Meowsers!

2011-10-15T12:45:00.001-07:00

I'm so enamored with Jen Lee's pet portrait tattoos. She can really capture the spirit and personality of each animal.

Ladyboner

2011-10-12T21:29:00.000-07:00

via the douchetorialist

We All Have Wants

2011-10-07T17:17:00.000-07:00

Now, I will always and forever be a Ramones girl, but October, October belongs to the Misfits.

Poster by Grayhood

Burning Sensation

2011-10-03T07:34:00.000-07:00

Here's my entry for The Burning House:

These people know that you can get replacement passports prettttty pretttttttay easily, right? Should we tell 'em?? Nah.

Oversimplification

2011-10-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

...is what I do best.

There's only ever two things that can happen in any relationship.

Either you grow together, or you grow apart.

photo

Pelican Nebulae // Prada

2011-09-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

“I hate writing,

I love having written.”

-Dorothy Parker

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

STOP IT

2011-09-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

There's not enough Jayne on here.

There's not enough Jayne in the world.

Just when you think she can't get any cooler,

she sends you grape licorice in the mail

and makes Celine inspired skateboard decks.

Big fun, indeed.

Dissolving me

2011-09-20T19:22:00.001-07:00

"I see nothing. We may sink and settle on the waves. The sea will drum in my ears. The white petals will be darkened with sea water. They will float for a moment and then sink. Rolling over the waves will shoulder me under. Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me."

-Virginia Woolf, The Waves

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Inbox Gold

2011-09-18T18:22:00.004-07:00

Three plus years ago, I received the following WORK email.

It's still, hands down, my favorite.

-----Original Message-----
From: Patrice B********-C*****
Sent: Thu 4/12/2007 10:10 AM
To: DL.ORG.UC.SEE.APP
Subject: Thank You!

Thank you for your wonderful card and kind words of inscription
celebrating my achievement. I am so blessed to have such great and
caring colleagues.

In the words of McDonalds.."baa daa dut duh dah. I'm lovin' it!" :-)

Patrice B********-C*****
Office of the Executive Director

photo

2011-09-10T18:49:00.001-07:00

HEADLEATHER CRUMBS. the translation for "dandruff" in chinese.

North America Nebula // Fragrant Smoke

2011-08-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

"Yeah you can kiss the ring,

but you can never touchthe crown

I smoke a million Swisher blunts

and I ain't never comingdown."

-Kreayshawn

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

Gulp

2011-08-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't give a shit if the world knows you're a pill popping bitch, I salute you (& Cast of Vices).

via the brilliant Richie Designs, my drug dealer*

*my drug is stationary

Tinned Fear

2011-08-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm fairly certain that I'd be a gazillionaire if I could can and sell the unlimited Vague Sense of Unease that courses through my veins.

Some recent examples:

Did I unplug the iron after I pressed my hem whilst wearing my dress?
Did I remember to brush my teeth this morning?
What do I want to be when I grow up?

Afterlife

2011-08-17T13:17:00.002-07:00

David Shrigley 2007

I often lament about what happens to all of this when I finally leave this earth to greet my 40 virgins in heaven. Apparently, TED has been too. In his lecture, Adam Ostrow wonders if your online personality could live on, long past your expiration date.

Through that, I found That Can Be My Next Tweet, a site that generates your future tweets based on existing ones. You guys, it's SO. MUCH. FUN. Here's a smattering of a few that popped up for mine.

I'm dead. Come And I'm finally an ear infuction. This tweet for the iPhone V. I improvised with a given.

Just got lectured by bringing Freja Beha photos to an unsuspecting grad student : quitters never prosper.

<3! <3! <3! LOVE! DUDE. NO FUCKING WAY. THAT IS THE BEST EVER.

There's poop on your hair appointment. xoxo, You/Me.

Prada or symposium? Thanks for disappointment by my day! Pacman, I'm avidly responding to cut down to be!

Playing Words with some hot perm action: +1 I sound like a glove box maxi pad.

NOM! <3 this butt hutt. Gag me tweet because he had a funk. Hello, handsome! Happy birthday, Joy!

Spilled coffee on G+. I don't own any, but I'm Jewish!

&hearts; but now I don't already have one... Is it feels EXACTLY like hot jizz. The HIGHLINE! YOUR DAD.

I want to work on my day! Pacman, I'm for the fun/nasty stuff on W&M. I'm avidly responding to your new!

There's poop on My new headsuit, leatha hi tops, & it in that they are OK!

Take it for a whirl, and if you get some gems, please humor me and put them in the comments below!

Sigh.

2011-08-17T09:35:00.003-07:00

click photos to biggify

Knock Knock Self-Inking Stamps, oh how I love & covet thee.

'Puters

2011-08-16T13:35:00.000-07:00

"June, 1956: Co-founder of Hewlett-Packard, Bill Hewlett, writes to then-Provost at Stanford and the man widely considered to be one of the "Fathers of Silicon Valley," Fred Terman, "I have no personal knowledge of computers nor does anyone in our organization have any appreciable knowledge."

Terman was a member of the US Army Signal Corps' advisory board at the time, and when asked by the army how best to acquire a computer for research purposes, he naturally turned to Hewlett — one of his former students — for assistance. Unfortunately, HP were then immersed in the world of electronic test equipment and, as such, had very little knowledge of a product from which they would eventually make huge profits; hence this reply. 10 years later, they introduced one of the world's first 16-bit minicomputers: the HP-2116A."

Transcript

HEWLETT-PACKARD COMPANY
June 13, 1956

Dr. F. E. Terman
Office of the Provost
Stanford University
Stanford, California

Dear Fred:

I have no personal knowledge of computers nor does anyone in our organization have any appreciable knowledge.

Sorry we can't help you out in this regard.

Sincerely yours,

(Signed, 'Bill')

William R. Hewlett

WRH/ma

via Letters of Note

Missoni x Target

2011-08-11T10:48:00.003-07:00

A bike ride, then a nap.

via Design Milk

UPDATE: full collection

"You have a problem with the science of Hot Tub Time Machine?"

2011-08-10T22:15:00.001-07:00

How come no one ever told me what a fucking great ~~movie~~, no film Hot Tub Time Machine is?! :( Crispin Glover, Carter Baizen, CUSACK!

I'm sorry. That's not fair. I shouldn't project. The only one I have to blame is myself. Oh well, better late than never.

I love you. Let's not fight.

Searchy Searchersons

2011-08-09T22:40:00.002-07:00

Guys, please forgive me if this is presumptuous, but I think I may have the best keyword searches ever. I mean, I'm sure yours are fine and good and all, but check some of these sweet honeys out:

small cunt
iggy pop nude
tracy morgan belly
ann margret nipple
hot men with chihuahuas
gay men knee socks short pants
puffy assholes (#1 of About 11,400,000 results!)
life is a series of commas not periods (a McConaughey quote)
crackwhore monthly (#1 of About 167,000 results!)
naked women and naked asses and boobs
black as midnight on a moonless night
הרפס לתינוק (Hebrew for herpes baby)
diamond encrusted teeth
ambien side effects
david lynch haircut
jaw wired shut
possum poop
shut in

Do you ever look at your keyword analyses? My drug of choice is StatCounter.com.

photo

爸爸

2011-08-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

"In Taiwan, Father's Day is not an official holiday, but is widely observed on August 8, the eighth day of the eighth month of the year. In Mandarin Chinese, the pronunciation of the number 8 is bā. This pronunciation is very similar to the character "爸" "bà", which means "Papa" or "father". The Taiwanese, therefore, usually call August 8 by its nickname, "Bābā Holiday" (爸爸節)."

wikipedia

photo

Imaginary Interview

2011-08-04T10:44:00.001-07:00

"Well, I wouldn't really call myself a tastemaker, but..."

"I wouldn't either."

"Oh."

image via

That Thing

2011-08-02T09:10:00.003-07:00

That thing where you tweet "that thing where you"did something instead of just saying the thing you actually did and only two people think it's cute, you and someone else who has never heard it before.

via

Milky Way

2011-08-02T02:32:00.005-07:00

[2:29AM] I'm awake because I had a terrible nightmare about my mother. I awoke to the ceiling fan going haywire on high-blast (we always leave it on low). I also felt this warm jolting bright light--- like being moved into a zone where ~*spirits*~ (my angels perhaps?) could reach me.

Of course instead of logically attributing this fan thing to the A/C power surge (which sometimes will trigger the ceiling fan light to turn on), I immediately assume that my mom indeed has passed away and she is trying to signal me from The Other Side. I'd call her, but it's far too late (and that would be crazy).

Now I'm sitting here, having to be up in a couple of hours, with a massive stomach ache and T-H-E L-O-U-D-E-S-T F-U-C-K-I-N-G K-E-Y-B-O-A-R-D K-N-O-W-N T-O M-A-N-K-I-N-D.

When I was little and couldn't sleep, my mom used to make me drink warm milk. I dreaded it. The smell alone was so putrid, let alone the way it coated your throat on its way down to ominously slosh around in your stomach. Sometimes it would be too hot and she'd blow on it. The stench of insomnia wafted over me as I anticipated to board the train to Vom City, U.S.A.

Later, I'd come to discover that I am lactose intolerant. But I ain't mad at her for forcing milk down my disaccharidase deficient pie hole. Parenting was just different back then. I ought to drink some warm milk for old time's sake right now, but my ass would surely explode.

Sweet dreams,
gracie

collage by tetradia

Hey Ho, Not Fair!

2011-08-01T16:06:00.005-07:00

Sometimes the perfect band name has already been taken and there is nothing to do but stomp your feet and scream, "NOT FAIR!" and make lots and lots of empty threats. Here are two prime examples that haunt me day in and day out.

The Riff Randalls. SO clever to name your band after the lead character in a movie about the coolest creatures ever to walk the face of the earth.* To make matters worse, they are a pretty fucking awesome band, too. Phooey!

Then there's Cat Party. CAT PARTY. OK, this might not be kosher because we're kind of in the same "scene" or whateves, but they suck/take themselves too seriously and their band name is awesome, and that just ain't right. (R or) I (can't remember who came up with it first-- we're blurring together) had the brilliant idea of sending them a fresh decapitated cat head for each day they do not relinquish the name.

Not to mention, there's this awesome blog named Cat Party and they should have the sole rights, if anyone, because they are badass chicks. I mean, just look at that GIFFFFFFFFORFUCKSSAKE.

*AKA the Ramones

photo

gif

Nailed It

2011-07-29T10:20:00.006-07:00

I've always wondered a lot about ethnic division of labor in the country. R pointed me to this story.

"The story of how the Vietnamese fell into the nail industry is one of pure chance -- of how 20 women who fled their war-torn country happened to meet a Hollywood starlet with beautiful nails.

The women were former teachers, business owners and government officials who came to America in 1975 after the fall of Saigon and landed in a tent city for Vietnamese refugees near Sacramento called Hope Village.

Actress Tippi Hedren, drawn to the plight of Vietnamese refugees, visited every few days. The Vietnamese knew little of Hollywood, so Hedren showed them Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" and pointed out her face on the screen.

Hedren was captivated by the refugees' stories of their homeland. They were, among other things, fascinated by her nails -- long, oval, the color of coral.

"I noticed that these women were very good with their hands," said Hedren, now 78. "I thought, why couldn't they learn how to do nails?"

So Hedren flew in her manicurist once a week to teach the women how to trim cuticles, remove calluses and perform nail wraps. She persuaded a nearby beauty school to teach the women and helped them find jobs."

Sidebar: Tippi Hedren is Melanie Griffith's mum.
Sidesidebar: Does anyone else get Melanie Griffith and Goldie Hawn mixed up?

Now let's all go get our nails did!

From the LA Times

Read more

And more

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PANIC!

2011-07-27T21:15:00.001-07:00

The Bellavator has a panic attack during the last monsoon.

AKA The Most Boring Post Ever

2011-07-27T10:56:00.001-07:00

Thoughts/Happenings

Unlocked my Twitter account. It's a free for all, y'all!
Having fun on G+... add me to your People That I Liked Better Before I Knew Way Too Much About Them circle!
Constantly feeling so grateful for all of you guys. You make life less lonely.
Attempting to workout again, despite my main motivation to go to the gym, Cash Cab, changing times on me. Come back, Ben Bailey, I'm getting chunkay!
Catching up on correspondence; using up some old stock before a) postage increase b) Hoarders shows up at my doorstep c) I can justify buying awesome new stamps/paper
Reconciling the fact that summer is almost over (even though the weather doesn't know that until after Halloween)
Enjoying monsoon season in the desert. I have THE most hilarious video of my dog having a panic attack (so mean, will upload).
Experimenting with Urban Decay eye shadows & can't stop watching Pixiwoo tutorials
Going on weekly romantic pizza dates at Pizzeria Bianco

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The Orion Nebula // The Keyholder

2011-07-25T20:17:00.003-07:00

"Worse than not realizing

the dreams of your youth,
would be to have been young

and never dreamed at all."

-Jean Genet

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

quote

How Much?

2011-07-20T20:21:00.001-07:00

I often wonder how much of me is really me, and how much of me is actually you?

photo

Feelers

2011-07-19T11:57:00.006-07:00

"If you are depressed,

you are living in the past.

If you are anxious,

you are living in the future.

If you are at peace,

you are living in the present."

-Lao Tzu

Let's all try to live in the present more.

photo

quote

Party time! Excellent!

2011-07-15T22:16:00.001-07:00

I couldn't put my finger on it, but YES!

I mean, people only care about her because she's progeny of The Trashwomen, right?

Wigger shit aside, it is a prettttttty, prettttttttttttay, prettttttttttaaaay catchy tune.

photo

Smells Like Teen Spirit

2011-07-15T11:00:00.004-07:00

Escape by Calvin Klein

My signature scent throughout middle school.

OFF! Bug Repellent

Ridiculous amounts of 'skeeters in MA.

Paul Mitchell Awapuhi Mist

Refreshing for humid summers and no central air.

Drakkar Noir

All the boys would bathe in this shit.

Love's Baby Soft

Dabbled in this for a bit, but stayed true to Calv.

For Introverts:

2011-07-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

"Pro: Acquaintances think you’re smart.

Con: Acquaintances think you are upset when they meet you.

Pro: You’re seen as “chill.”

Con: You aren’t sure if you’re “chill” or “a doormat.”

Pro: There seems to be a group of individuals who romantically pursue introverted people almost exclusively.

Con: Less people are romantically interested in you.*

Pro: You can enjoy a symbiotic, BFF-esque relationship with a loud person.

Con: Loud people will hurt your soul."

*I actually think this one is a pro.

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PSYCH!: Part 2

2011-07-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

Part 2 of 2 of my psychic saga continues...
Ponyguy is ready for me! I quietly slink off to his table...

...which was draped in a purple polyester cloth with thousands of tiny silver star appliques. Ponyguy (PG) sits across from me and takes my hands into his. It's difficult to focus on anything but the sharp tiny silver stars poking into my elbows and his single three inch mutant eyebrow.

He asks, "Did you know you have angels around you?"

"Umm, no," I replied.

"Well you do, about four or five of them, encircling you. They help you through challenging emotional times. You should call on them for help."

"OK."

"What would you like to know about today?"

Crap. Didn't do my homework nor learn from friend's reading.

"Uhh, my career? And the future, in general?"

Ugh. Statements in question tone. Horrible.

He takes out a deck of dog-eared tarot cards. Closes his eyes and taps them against his forehead while flipping the corners. He's breathing deep, channeling, flipping, channeling, flipping. He awakens and slaps the cards down in the Celtic cross arrangement. He grabs his crystal (YES!) and dangles it while asking the question, "Oh, tell us about Grace's career..."

PG goes on to read my career and love sitch without skipping a beat. Eerily spot on. Homeboy was on a roll! Whit even joined in after her session had ended. I'm so glad she was here for this part. He's back into channeling mode again, then suddenly his eyes jolt open!

"Woah! I just time traveled!" PG looked a little startled and scared.

"Ohh, really?" I feigned.

"Kmppppppffffffttt," Whit stifled.

PG tells us that this doesn't happen to him often, and that he went through a portal... and... saw me with my two children. A boy and a girl. The girl would be older. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh... that's the sound of my interest shriveling up. For those of you who know me, know that R and I are avidly child-free (and sterile!)*. So. I didn't correct him, but I was thinking, Check, please!

All in all, my review? It was definitely worth the $40 in entertainment and shared experience value. But as my wise partner in psychic crime advises, next time I'm tempted to go again, I should make a donation to UNICEF instead.

*I guess anything can happen, but it's rather unlikely. Only time will tell!

Warhol, Velvet Underground

Read Part 1 here or just scroll down five inches.

The Busc

2011-07-12T17:21:00.001-07:00

Hot.

via

this is what happens when you try too hard

2011-07-12T08:35:00.002-07:00

put glasses over

glasses this morning and saw

that i could not see.

by 17 beats

photo

PSYCH!: Part 1

2011-07-11T11:38:00.008-07:00

My buddy Whitney was in town a couple weekends ago, and we decided to go get our tarot cards read. R scoffed and dropped us off at Vision Quest: Metaphysical Bookstore on a hot summer's day.

The bookstore is lined with all kinds of wackadoodle books on spirituality, witchcraft, and anything you can think of. Kiosks packed full of sage, incense, candles, oils, and crystals dance in the aisles. Oh, and chimes, there are many many chimes.

We stop at the "menu" board that lists names and specialties next to them. A smattering of talents are on display such as Tarot, Medium, Past-Lives, Angels, Palms, Numerology, Clairvoyant, Astrology Channel, Photo-reading, Healing, Psychometry, Palms, Tea Leaves, and on and on and on.

Overwhelmed by the offerings, we opted to take a lap around the store to get a sense of the readers (they are set up at little tables around the perimeter of the room). I immediately spot my guy. He's in his late fifties, long white ponytail, glasses, dangling a crystal over some cards... yes, it had to be him.

We continue our lap around the store to shop our other options. One woman is shouting on a Bluetooth, which Whit initially mistook as speaking to the spirits. She chooses a nice stout redheaded woman, but it turns out Red didn't do readings, just spirit paintings or someshit. So instead, she just took the first available.

We register at the front counter and decide that I would sit with Whitney for part of her reading until Ponyguy was finished with his current foo--I mean, clients. Her psychic walks up to greet us, and looks straight at me, "Whitney?"

WOW. That was the first clue that she didn't really have psychic powers. It pretty much took every single molecule in my body not to break down in laughter and defecate everywhere. I'm not sure that sage could clean that up.

So we settle in with her lady, Blondie, let's call her. At Blondie's request, Whit places her feet on the ground and her hands in Blondie's. Blondie asks Whit what brought her in today, and what questions she had for her. This took us both off guard, as we didn't know that we had to come prepared with life questions/problems.

Whit asks about the general future. Blondie swings and misses a tragic number of times. Whit, being the sweetheart that she is, keeps trying to lob her some softballs and get her back on track. But all in all, Blondie was a very nice lady, but that was about it.

Ponyguy is ready for me! I quietly slink off to his table...

...To be continued...

Desultory Delights: No. 9

2011-07-08T15:34:00.004-07:00

The internet IS a wonderful thing.
Tiiiiiight tights (via BWY) Do people (other than wiggers) still (ever) use tight as an adjective?
Fancy flies & old spiders
A genius Annual Report
The Language of Eyes (via What is Imperfect)
17 Beats
Email Charter, let's do this shit.
New Industrial Design stamps!
Best engagement photos ever
Thoughts on Google+. Leave or send me your email if you want an invite.

I hope you've enjoyed the latest installment of the Desultory Delights series, in which I round up my favorite web finds. May this weekend deliver you many good vibrations.

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Last Night

2011-07-06T08:33:00.004-07:00

Experiential blogging, take 1.
Press play on both videos simultaneously.

[2011 JUL 05 7:45 - 8:15 PM PST]

Pulled over in the ghetto,
a mere five minutes from home.
Parking break and hazards on,
breathing through a t-shirt.
So close, yet so far away,
hoping not to get blown a stray.

Another great HABOOB shot.

Adieu, hairshirt

2011-07-05T14:28:00.001-07:00

I bid you adieu, hairshirt. I'm not really sure why I thought I needed a hairshirt to begin with. I supposed I was fond of the idea of strolling around the house without a shirt on, but still maintaining a degree of hippy modesty.

Within the span of ten minutes or so on Saturday, my once beloved hairshirt turned into a pentecostalesque burden. So, tonight, I've an appointment for hacking. T'was fun while it lasted. Now I can say that I did it.

Commence the age old battle royale: bangs or no bangs?

photo

Grace Coddington // Rosette Nebula

2011-06-27T10:38:00.002-07:00

You do not always know what I am feeling.
Last night in the warm spring air while I was
blazing my tirade against someone who doesn’t
interest
me, it was love for you that set me
afire,

and isn’t it odd? for in rooms full of
strangers my most tender feelings
writhe and
bear the fruit of screaming. Put out your hand,
isn’t there
an ashtray, suddenly, there? beside
the bed? And someone you love enters the room
and says wouldn’t
you like the eggs a little

different today?
And when they arrive they are
just plain scrambled eggs and the warm weather
is holding.

-"For Grace, After a Party" by Frank O'Hara

via Royal Quiet Deluxe via Books vs. Cigarettes

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

High Fidelity

2011-06-22T22:26:00.006-07:00

Let's talk about this movie right quick. Just the ticket when you need to take a hot steaming cry-dump.

Old buddies. All those TV sitcom royalty cameos: Lisa "I'm a motherfucking Cosby" Bonet and Melissa "I grew up on a rad plaid couch" Gilbert?! So comforting to see them grownupish. Also, Alex Desert of Hepcat & Boy Meets World fame, in his forgettable role as Louis the customer.

Chicago. Chicago is such a perfect romantic backdrop. All that rain, that lushness. Parks to fight and fuck in. All those bars for drowning sorrows and trains for lamenting. Perfect.

Rings. The horrible new fling Ian (with an 'I'--by the way), deftly played by Tim Robbins, has a ponytail and wears rings on his fingers. Totally hateable. I never could get on board with John Corbett in Sex & the City, because his Aiden character was too gooey in the same vein.

"That guy*." R worked at a record store for near a decade. After the movie came out, people would come in and tell his coworker, "HEY! You look exactly like that guy from High Fidelity!" It really got under his skin. He did, but Jack Black was skinnier and more charming.

Casting. In addition to TV princesses, casting IRL ex, Lili Taylor and IRL sister, Joan Cusack. I like Joan's face. It's looks like one of those creepy smiling mannequins mated with a blow up doll.

Sigh. It never fails to make me bawl and want to wear choker necklaces.

*Please don't be that guy and say, "the book was better**."

**Even if it was, ok?

photo via ritapseudonym

Honey Badger Don't Give a Shit

2011-06-21T17:09:00.002-07:00

I really love it when genius overlaps genius.

Like when someone names their blog, Pepper and Chips after the Kittens Inspired by Kittens' quote "We are eating pepper and chips!"

ALSO, while we're on the gay lispy narrator tip, check out Cats Inspired by Kittens Inspired by Kittens. My favorite quotes are: "I have Daddy issues" & "I'm blogggggging"

Mugs by Jen Ray via Door16

A List for the Listless

2011-06-20T13:26:00.003-07:00

2011-06-13T23:18:00.000-07:00

lost source help!

Sundaze

2011-06-13T16:22:00.002-07:00

My new favorite Sunday routine:

Sleeping in so late that my bones hurt and I have to twist around in the mirror to check if I have bedsores, only to be shocked that, indeed! I do! and then to realize that it's just my tattoo.
Watching Hoarders streaming on Netflix while cleaning the house. It motivates me to scrub, and also to think, MY HOUSE IS SOOOOO CLEAN!!!

What do you revel in?

collage by jesse draxler via

NYC Streets

2011-06-01T20:39:00.002-07:00

Nebula in NGC 6559 // Nobis

2011-05-22T23:38:00.003-07:00

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

Good mornin'

2011-05-19T05:12:00.001-07:00

I operate under the general assumption that people who eat breakfast everyday are more trustworthy. This is not founded by any supporting evidence.

Full disclosure: I don't eat breakfast. Unless a spotted banana and copious amounts of coffee count.

Do you eat breakfast?
What do you eat?

via ignant

2011-05-18T22:59:00.000-07:00

What can I say? Misery loves company.

2011-05-16T23:05:00.001-07:00

via

2011-05-13T10:53:00.004-07:00

My dear Erica,

Congratulations on selling your novel! You are a truly gifted person who sees the world like no other. I am extremely grateful to know you. Cheers to you!

Nothing but love,
Gracie

Addendumb

2011-05-11T08:35:00.002-07:00

Here's the text that should have accompanied that last post, if, you know, I weren't such a pig.

My childhood room. I miss it.

When I was 6, my mom brought me to a wallpaper store. She let me choose my own wallpaper, which was pretty fucking cool. I went with a white with pink and blue flower pattern. To snazz it up, it came with a matching border that had bears dancing around a May pole. The carpet was tan, I think. And the matching furniture set was glossy white with gold accents (ooh la la!). As time went on, I acquired a few layers.

A teenaged inventory of sorts:

Fuzzy black light poster/Green Day Dookie poster/Nirvana poster/Fake Spencer's Gifts Tesla coil thing/Rancid poster (mother was not pleased)/Glow in the dark stars/Tin foil stars that hung from threads from the ceiling inspired by Smashing Pumpkins 'Tonight, Tonight' video/Blue tinsel to frame said Rancid poster/Requisite Christmas lights/Incense (both cone and stick)/Garage sale record player with no needle

2011-05-10T19:57:00.001-07:00

Let's just say, this is definitely doing it for me.

thank you, tiger butter

Unpinteresting

2011-05-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

So, so many have been touting the awesomeness that is Pinterest, I thought I'd offer a fair and balanced view. I've been on it for several months now, and I can report a somewhat paradoxical reaction. While my buddies were pinning away, I was diving into an existential tailspin of sorts*.

Like with most everything, I am head-over-heels-all-in about something/someone during the initial infatuation phase. (The person who knows me best called me fickle once upon a time, and I was offended, but goddamn was he ever right.) I pinnnnnnnnnned like a mad woman for the first few days. Pinned like Madeleine Albright, as kidchamp so aptly put it.

Exhibit A**

As my "boards" were starting to form, I began to feel extremely two-dimensional (at best). Flat, cliche. My interests were Freja, big hair, eyeliner, some fake dark shit, bicycles (!? despite rarely riding IRL), geriatrics/silver foxes, stripes, letters, David Shrigley, myself, some hipster books, meatloaf, etc. etc. I was boiled down to a simple, predictable list.

Ew, that's it?!? This is what I'm about? --was the feeling I was getting. Maybe I wasn't following enough people, but my homepage was just one massive repin. Then, heavy real life shit happened and I'm reminded that I'm a twat who should pull her head out of her ass and... seriously, WHO CARES about any of this fuckery?!?

Trifecta = Freja + big hair + gobs of eyeliner

All that said, who'd like an invite? I have six.

*the internet tends to have that effect on me

**are you weirded out that I saved this?

photos via pinterest, duh!

Seven

2011-05-08T20:13:00.002-07:00

To my better half:

Happy anniversary,

still crazy for you.

Goes to Eleven

2011-05-06T16:37:00.002-07:00

brooch here via here